Resilience Response to Resistance
In this episode, Dr Brad Miller talks about resilience as a response to resistance. He will tell stories of people who show resilience and breakthrough in times of resistance.
Dr Brad Miller tells his story of him showing resilience during their vacation with his family. While rafting at the river, they were suddenly met by a storm that causes a flash flood on the river. To keep his family safe, he musters up all the resilience he has to fight the resistance of the river.
Dr Brad talks about Dr Melissa, a psychologist and a mom coach who becomes a mother without herself having a mother to rely on. Despite having resistance to depression and emotional negativity, she uses her resilience to create ways for her to overcome her circumstances and become a great mother.
Dr. Brad wants you to be resilient in your life because there are forces fighting against you that want to hinder you from having the life, serenity, prosperity, and purpose that you were promised.
In order to overcome resistance, we need resilience. And to have resilience, you need the power of the emotion of that promised goal to draw you and be an attraction thing for you. Second, you need a have the drive, which is the energy, physicality, and emotion to get you through. Lastly, know what people depend on you.
We have the option to go big or go home. So choose to be resilient in life. Because resistance wants to kill you.
Episode 247 of The Beyond Adversity Podcast is a must-listen for any people who are being swayed by the resistance in their life. This is the time for you to decide. So choose to be resilient and fight the waves of resistance will all your might to reach the promised life we all yearn for.
“The Beyond Adversity Podcast with Dr. Brad Miller is published weekly with the mission of helping people “Grow Through What They Go Through” as they navigate adversity and discover their promised life of peace, prosperity and purpose.
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Transcript
Dr. Brad Miller 0:08
Hello, good people, and welcome to Beyond adversity with
Dr. Brad Miller 0:13
Dr. Brad Miller. Pleasure and a privilege to have you with me
Dr. Brad Miller 0:18
today here on this podcast, where you and I get together
Dr. Brad Miller 0:23
and chat a little bit about things that matter about things that
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have to do with helping you to get through adverse life events,
Dr. Brad Miller 0:32
and to come to your life of peace and prosperity, and purpose.
Dr. Brad Miller 0:37
This is episode number 247. We're talking today about resilience
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as a response to resistance. They want you to know that it's a
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pleasure to privilege to have you with me, coming to you from
Dr. Brad Miller 0:53
my home office in the loft, just outside of Indianapolis, Indiana.
Dr. Brad Miller 0:59
A beautiful, sunny, but cold January day. And I look forward to
Dr. Brad Miller 1:05
serving you for a few minutes here. Today, I come to you for the
Dr. Brad Miller 1:09
background in Christian ministry, 42 years in ministry and a doctoral
Dr. Brad Miller 1:13
degree and transformational leadership, and over 240 episodes
Dr. Brad Miller 1:17
of this podcast, which are designed to help you to grow through
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what you go through, you can head over to DrBradmiller.com to
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get those back catalogues of episodes at the
Dr. Brad Miller 1:29
DrBradmiller.com/fortydayway to get our resource for you,
Dr. Brad Miller 1:34
which is the guide to help you to create your PLP, your Promise Life Plan
Dr. Brad Miller 1:40
and learn about our x plan ACTS plan. The A is for action,
Dr. Brad Miller 1:44
the C is connected with a higher power. T is to think with discipline,
Dr. Brad Miller 1:48
and S is to serve others with love. We can teach you a little
Dr. Brad Miller 1:52
bit about how to do just that in episode 247. We're going to talk
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about resistance and resilience. And what is the response to
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the other. It comes with the I come to you after spending a
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couple of episodes talking with Melissa Riley. Hope you heard
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those episodes 245 and 246, where she talked about her situation
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where she is a mom, without a mom. And she's a psychologist
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and a mom coach, who she talked about the situation where
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she grew up with an older mother and an older sister and a
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younger sister. And all three of those women in her life passed away.
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All of them were gone by the time she was in her mid-20s.
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And when she came to be a mom herself in her mid-30s,
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she found herself without women in her life and her nuclear family.
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And that became a problem for her to deal with when
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she had children of her own dealing with postpartum
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depression and a number of other things and she found herself
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being pushed up against this problem. A problem
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that I like to call resistance. And I think she found in
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the way to deal with that was by creating a community
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of people to understand that she had to be very intentional
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about being resilient in her life, about finding women to build a
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community with and to, make to express her grief properly.
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And to do what she had to do to deal with resistance to that
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pushed on her from these things. Great stuff. I hope that
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you go to that. I want to tell you a story here today about
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what I found literal resistance in my life. In fact, it was a strong
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current that came into my life and almost swept me and my
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whole family away. One of the things my family did when
Dr. Brad Miller 3:56
we were to take vacations together. And we would go
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whitewater rafting on several occasions. We were down in
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Tennessee, in the Smoky Mountains there and this, was a calm
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day and we went whitewater rafting it was such a calm trip
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that our youngest son was only five years old at the time.
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And we went on the mildest trip you could go on that a
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five year old could go on. So we strapped him in and our
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other two kids and my wife and I and were on a boat with
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about three or four other people there were about, I think eight
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or nine of us in this rubber raft together. Very calm. Very pleasant,
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just a float down the river. But it was kind of sheer cliffs on both sides.
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It was very beautiful. It was just idyllic. We're about an hour.
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It's about a three-hour crew of raft ride. When
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storm clouds group brewed up and I have never seen quite like it.
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We were hit by a deluge. A thunderstorm broke open, and we
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were hit with a deluge have run ain't like I have never experienced
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before since really in such a massive amount of water in such a
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short amount of time, and it created a flash flood. And all of a
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sudden our pleasant little ride turned into a literal whitewater
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rafting trip down a raging river with a little guard, our five year
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old son wasn't the only little kid with us. And these were a
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team of two rafts. And we went going down the river and the guys
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we're trying to help us. But we ended up having to ground the rafts
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and a little sandbar on the side of the, on the side of the river that
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and we put the graphs above our heads to protect ourselves for a
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little while. And we stayed there for probably an hour underneath
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these rafts with little kids and, the situation is you might be able
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to imagine. And if he came with the rain clear just a little bit, it became
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clear what we had to do, we had to get across this river. And we
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could look across the river and there was a road over there and
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it was a little trailer off in the distance, we had to get across
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this river and get our kids across there. So myself and a couple
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other men who were there, we took it upon ourselves then to
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wade through the river, which was chest and neck deep with
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the current pushing against us, and to take these rafts,
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with our little kids in them and our spouses and everyone else
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and literally, walk through the river across to the other side.
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And that current was pushing upon me and the other fellows.
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And but we had a goal to go we had a place we needed to go,
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we knew we need to get across this river to that road. And to that little,
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that little trailer over there. And in order to say your families,
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and it was, you know, we'd look back on this story with a lot
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of fun. But it was pretty serious stuff.
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Because this river was raging up against chest high neck high
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on me and the other men, and we had little kids with us and it
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was raining. And it was a serious situation. But you know,
Dr. Brad Miller 7:08
we had the complete and total motivation to get across that river
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to the other side. And that resistance of the current was not going
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to stop us from doing what we had to do to save our families.
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So we got through the resistance of the river in order to get through,
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be resilient in this prospect. And our kids and our families were great.
Dr. Brad Miller 7:33
And this whole process they were about to do is a pretty serious situation.
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We got through it together to get to the other side. And eventually,
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we make all of us got across the river to the promised land as
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it were. And we made it there. And we got in a van was called
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and we made it out of that predicament. But it didn't take it didn't
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come without some scary times. And we had to be resilient.
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And to get through the situation at hand. I want to share with
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you a little bit about a book I read a while back. It's called do the
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work by an author by the name of Steven Pressfield. He
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wrote a couple of books. He's written a whole bunch of books,
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wrote up a play that wrote a book that was made into a movie
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called The Legend of Bagger Vance. He'd written some books
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of fictional books. They also read a couple of books about writing
Dr. Brad Miller 8:41
and about this topic, he calls the resistance, the resistance, which
Dr. Brad Miller 8:46
is any force that is looking to take you out of a forest that wants to
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kill you, and keep you away from your dreams. And he says this
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and he wrote this book in 2011. I took some notes about it. And
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it's some of the things he said is that the resistance is that is
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which is going to take you away from that which you want to be
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about. And it's not rational. And it is your enemy. It wants to
Dr. Brad Miller 9:13
kill you. And it's all about self-loathing and perfectionism,
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procrastination, addiction, distraction, timidity, ego, narcissism,
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and those types of things and anything you want to do
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this worthwhile. Resistance is going to try to keep you from
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doing it. It's invisible. It's insidious. He says It's infallible. It never
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sleeps and it plays for keeps. It wants to keep you away.
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It is irrational. And what do you do to respond to it?
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That's what he talks about. He talks about his book about
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how you respond to it. You have to respond to this. forces
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that want to keep you from your promised life your promised
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land, with faith And with passion and stupidity calls and stubbornness.
Dr. Brad Miller:I'm reminded of the biblical story of the children of Israel who
Dr. Brad Miller:Moses took from slavery in Egypt under Pharaoh to what was
Dr. Brad Miller:called the promised land, and it took 40 years to get there.
Dr. Brad Miller:But in order to get to the promised land, the land of milk
Dr. Brad Miller:and honey, of plenty and sustenance, they had to get through
Dr. Brad Miller:the Red Sea. And the Red Sea was opened up for them, bu
Dr. Brad Miller:the currents were there and they had to push back the currents,
Dr. Brad Miller:or the resistance of Pharaoh's army was chasing him, and
Dr. Brad Miller:the resistance of people who would deny him and hold him back.
Dr. Brad Miller:And the waters were held back, the resistance was there in
Dr. Brad Miller:all those ways. And Moses had to be persistent, and resilient
Dr. Brad Miller:to help lead the people through that and get through that.
Dr. Brad Miller:And eventually, not without a lot of terrible, tough, ridiculous times.
Dr. Brad Miller:They were resilient, and they got through the desert, got through
Dr. Brad Miller:the wilderness experience, to the promised land. Now, friend, I
Dr. Brad Miller:love you. And I want to, I want to share with you that you
Dr. Brad Miller:have to have some of the same stuff here. You have to be
Dr. Brad Miller:resilient in your life, because there are forces that are working
Dr. Brad Miller:against you, and want to keep you from your promised life, peace
Dr. Brad Miller:and prosperity, and purpose. They want you to be lost. And
Dr. Brad Miller:be devastated that Pressfield calls it rewriting your life. And I
Dr. Brad Miller:would like to say it is about resilience in your life. And having
Dr. Brad Miller:that goal to go through. That's what I would like to invite
Dr. Brad Miller:you to be thinking about here. Today, as we learned some
Dr. Brad Miller:lessons from our guests. In our previous podcast blesser
Dr. Brad Miller:Reilly, her story was incredible of getting through the
Dr. Brad Miller:postpartum depression, by choosing to connect with other
Dr. Brad Miller:people grieving appropriately connected to a higher power.
Dr. Brad Miller:That's what she did. And myself and my kids and a rafting trip.
Dr. Brad Miller:And our families, we were praying hard, and that ran for an hour.
Dr. Brad Miller:We were waiting to get through. We but had to take action,
Dr. Brad Miller:we had to get through it. So here's what I here's three points
Dr. Brad Miller:I want to give you what I think may just be helpful to you, in
Dr. Brad Miller:the process of helping you to have resilience in your life,
Dr. Brad Miller:to get through the things the resistance that wants to hold
Dr. Brad Miller:you back and wants to crush you. Resilience.
Dr. Brad Miller:Number one, you need the power of that promised life the
Dr. Brad Miller:emotion of that promised goal, to draw you to be an attraction
Dr. Brad Miller:thing for you. Okay. For Melissa, it was the promise of being a
Dr. Brad Miller:good mother to her children. Even though she didn't have a
Dr. Brad Miller:mom of her own. For me, my family was getting to the other
Dr. Brad Miller:side of that river. For Moses, it was getting through the Red Sea.
Dr. Brad Miller:What is it for you? What is it draws you it has to be emotional,
Dr. Brad Miller:it has to be powerful. It cannot be just a minimalistic thing.
Dr. Brad Miller:It has to be a gigantic thing. You hit the leverage and ramp
Dr. Brad Miller:up the big why here. I like to call it the promised life of
Dr. Brad Miller:peace and prosperity and purpose. Peace speech, you
Dr. Brad Miller:want peace of mind, you want to have some clarity.
Dr. Brad Miller:You want to have that sensibility in your mental health.
Dr. Brad Miller:And prosperity means you've got your physical health,
Dr. Brad Miller:it means you've got the resources that you need in your
Dr. Brad Miller:life and purpose mean you're living for something greater
Dr. Brad Miller:than self. You can do this, but that's what it means to pull
Dr. Brad Miller:you through. It might be getting through cancer, it might
Dr. Brad Miller:mean having a great marriage, it might mean having some
Dr. Brad Miller:financial, get a new job or have some financial goals.
Dr. Brad Miller:What is the big why that pulls you through? That has to
Dr. Brad Miller:draw you out. That's number one. What's your promised
Dr. Brad Miller:life to draw you? The number two thing is having the
Dr. Brad Miller:presence at hand in mind as you go through this of how
Dr. Brad Miller:bad do you want it? How bad do you want and that's to
Dr. Brad Miller:drive okay, if the first point is about a draw to draw you.
Dr. Brad Miller:This next point is about drive. You have to have the energy
Dr. Brad Miller:and the resources and the will to do it. See Melissa,
Dr. Brad Miller:one of the things she did is she purposely sought out
Dr. Brad Miller:relationships with other women she called them wise
Dr. Brad Miller:women that she drew around her to be her resources,
Dr. Brad Miller:because she didn't have a mom, she didn't even have
Dr. Brad Miller:sisters to be her resource when she needed the resource
Dr. Brad Miller:of women to be up, she was being a mom herself.
Dr. Brad Miller:In my case, I got together with the other men in this group
Dr. Brad Miller:and other the whole the families and we made a plan, because
Dr. Brad Miller:we knew we couldn't wait there forever on the edge of that river.
Dr. Brad Miller:We made a plan and we got after it, and we got out of the river
Dr. Brad Miller:up to our necks and we went after it. You have to have the drive
Dr. Brad Miller:and the energy, the physicality, the emotion to get you through.
Dr. Brad Miller:That's drive. So the first point is to draw what draws you what's
Dr. Brad Miller:your goal. The second point is what drives you. And the
Dr. Brad Miller:third point, I think this is an important one is what about the
Dr. Brad Miller:people impacted by what you're about? That is who depends
Dr. Brad Miller:on you. That's the D of depends. Thinking about that. Allow
Dr. Brad Miller:yourself the responsibility, and the luxury, if you will, and the
Dr. Brad Miller:opportunity to serve people that you love or serve people tha
Dr. Brad Miller:t are dependent on some of the decisions that you make. Melissa,
Dr. Brad Miller:Dr. Reilly had children of her own to deal with now she
Dr. Brad Miller:had responsibilities there. She could not stay stuck, and
Dr. Brad Miller:her depression and be a good mother to her children, her
Dr. Brad Miller:children. Based out if she couldn't just stay stuck in the
Dr. Brad Miller:the situation, she found herself the circumstances she found
Dr. Brad Miller:herself in. And myself and the other folks on this rafting trip,
Dr. Brad Miller:we could not you know, we had little kids who were depend
Dr. Brad Miller:on us, I had a five-year-old son. And at that night, a five year
Dr. Brad Miller:old son, and a eight-year-old son and a 13-year-old daughter
Dr. Brad Miller:with me. And my wife and these other people, little kids
Dr. Brad Miller:as well, depending on the decisions that we made. Dependent
Dr. Brad Miller:on the decisions that we made. And Moses, the children of Israel,
Dr. Brad Miller:he had this whole nation that was dependent on the on the
Dr. Brad Miller:decisions that he made. You need to feel appropriate pressure,
Dr. Brad Miller:I think the pressure is not always a bad thing. It's a good thing,
Dr. Brad Miller:the appropriate pressure to serve those who are in your life.
Dr. Brad Miller:So what do you got to do? I want to encourage you to choose
Dr. Brad Miller:to be resilient, because it is a choice. Choose to be resilient
Dr. Brad Miller:in your life. Because resistance wants to kill you. It
Dr. Brad Miller:wants to take you out, and you just gotta go big, go big or go
Dr. Brad Miller:home. You know, that's what we need to do. And you know,
Dr. Brad Miller:Pressfield talks about rewriting your life, I want to say you know,
Dr. Brad Miller:have a ramp up your resilience. So let's go through those things
Dr. Brad Miller:one more time, to build resilience in your life. What are you going
Dr. Brad Miller:to do? The power of the goal, or your promise life to draw
Dr. Brad Miller:you? What goes is going to draw you and attract you, what do
Dr. Brad Miller:you is going to is what's going to drive you the emotion of the
Dr. Brad Miller:moment how bad you want to do this. And then the D, next D
Dr. Brad Miller:is dependent on who, and what people depend on you. That makes
Dr. Brad Miller:all the difference. It's all about love and caring. I call this the
Dr. Brad Miller:I call the process, I like to use the ACTS plan that helps you
Dr. Brad Miller:get there. The idea is to identify the problem, whatever
Dr. Brad Miller:it is the adversity. We like to call here on Beyond adversity.
Dr. Brad Miller:And then to get beyond that. How do you get beyond that?
Dr. Brad Miller:Well, the first thing you do is take action.
Dr. Brad Miller:That's the word ACTS, the letter A is to take action,
Dr. Brad Miller:whatever it is, you know, Moses had to actually get the
Dr. Brad Miller:people together and leave to go to the Red Sea. How to
Dr. Brad Miller:get through the Red Sea. They didn't know. My mother
Dr. Brad Miller:meant on this rafting trip. We literally didn't know when we
Dr. Brad Miller:stepped down that river. If we were going to sink to the bottom
Dr. Brad Miller:of the river, which was raging was it was 15 feet deeper,
Dr. Brad Miller:whatever, we're able to walk across it, but we didn't know.
Dr. Brad Miller:We thought we might have to swim for it. But you got to
Dr. Brad Miller:get out there and you got to get wet. Okay, Melissa,
Dr. Brad Miller:decided to take action as well. What are you going to do?
Dr. Brad Miller:That's the A action you got to move. Get off your rear end
Dr. Brad Miller:and do something. Take some action to see in the word of
Dr. Brad Miller:ACTS is to connect with a higher power to be prayerful, okay,
Dr. Brad Miller:to be prayerful or to connect with the power greater than self.
Dr. Brad Miller:All right. That's what we're talking about here. Melissa.
Dr. Brad Miller:found a home in a church family. Part of her faith development
Dr. Brad Miller:was a part of the process. I'm a praying person. Moses
Dr. Brad Miller:was a praying person who went up on the mound to get the 10
Dr. Brad Miller:command moments, some of you know the story.
Dr. Brad Miller:Whatever it is for you connect something deeper and inner life
Dr. Brad Miller:or prayer life, journal, or other things that you can do in that way.
Dr. Brad Miller:So that's the A is to take action to see what is connected with higher
Dr. Brad Miller:power to use to think but discipline. That's your process,
Dr. Brad Miller:what are you going to do? For Melissa, she began a
Dr. Brad Miller:process of having a what's appropriate grief? How do
Dr. Brad Miller:you design a support system? And then how do you
Dr. Brad Miller:expect to be resilient in the process of learning, learning
Dr. Brad Miller:that moving forward? For me and the other gentleman,
Dr. Brad Miller:at the end of the rafting trip, we develop a plan we
Dr. Brad Miller:had to get across that river, some of us did, at least
Dr. Brad Miller:to get to that, get that trailer across the way and call
Dr. Brad Miller:for help. What's it going to be for you? What's your process,
Dr. Brad Miller:you're gonna have a process here. It's not all about
Dr. Brad Miller:emotion only. It's about a process, what are you going
Dr. Brad Miller:to do? So that's the A's to action to see Connect for
Dr. Brad Miller:higher power to theta, think with discipline, you gotta have
Dr. Brad Miller:discipline here. And they so serve others with love. Okay?
Dr. Brad Miller:That's, you know, Moses loved his people got him through
Dr. Brad Miller:the power to the Promised Land eventually, even though
Dr. Brad Miller:he didn't see it himself. Melissa loved her own kids enough
Dr. Brad Miller:to do whatever it took to serve them. In my case, love my
Dr. Brad Miller:own kids, and so on, serve others with love, in order to get
Dr. Brad Miller:through to that promised life. And guess what, everybody, I
Dr. Brad Miller:love you, too. I love you too. And I want to help teach you
Dr. Brad Miller:and help to love on you a little bit, to help you to get through
Dr. Brad Miller:whatever, you know, whatever problems that you have,
Dr. Brad Miller:whatever resistance that you have in your life, in order to have the
Dr. Brad Miller:resilience that you need to get through it. We have here
Dr. Brad Miller:at at my website, DrBrad miller.com. Now well, you know,
Dr. Brad Miller:to over 240 episodes of this podcast, we look to help you to
Dr. Brad Miller:deal with adversity. We define adversity as the five ds of adversity,
Dr. Brad Miller:depression, anything to do with mental health-related
Dr. Brad Miller:things. As the D of depression, divorce, the D of divorce,
Dr. Brad Miller:which is not only marital divorce but any problems related to
Dr. Brad Miller:relationships. You know, it could be in the family, it could be
Dr. Brad Miller:workplace related could be with somebody else. So that's
Dr. Brad Miller:depression, there's divorce. A third one is disease, health
Dr. Brad Miller:related things. Right now I'm dealing with cancer myself,
Dr. Brad Miller:that I have to deal with that. What are you dealing with,
Dr. Brad Miller:you got to get through that health related things can bring
Dr. Brad Miller:you down, they can be a point of resistance if you allow
Dr. Brad Miller:them to be. So depression, divorce, disease, debt, financial
Dr. Brad Miller:related things. Money is a factor, right? We always want to have
Dr. Brad Miller:that resource money, and money and other resources. If
Dr. Brad Miller:we allow them to can drag us down. They can be a huge
Dr. Brad Miller:resistance. We have great, great people on our podcast,
Dr. Brad Miller:to speak to these issues, financial management and how it
Dr. Brad Miller:relates how it's all interconnected, integrated with our
Dr. Brad Miller:emotional and our spiritual life as well. And then the
Dr. Brad Miller:biggie is death, the D for death, that's end of life issues,
Dr. Brad Miller:the death of a loved one, our own mortality to deal with that.
Dr. Brad Miller:It scares people, songs, care, some of us to death, really.
Dr. Brad Miller:But we help you deal with that end-of-life issues as well.
Dr. Brad Miller:I'm here to help you. I have a background as a pastor at 42
Dr. Brad Miller:years as a pastor, a doctoral degree in transformational leadership,
Dr. Brad Miller:I can help you. Part of what I teach here today is what that's about.
Dr. Brad Miller:I would love to bring in these guests to help you as well, why?
Dr. Brad Miller:Because I love you. I love you, and I care for you. And if we
Dr. Brad Miller:can help you get on our mailing list there at DrBradmillercom.
Dr. Brad Miller:And we'll see what we can do. Let's work on this together
Dr. Brad Miller:with other resources as we go on down the road. We invite
Dr. Brad Miller:you to check us out every week here on the beyond a
Dr. Brad Miller:adversity podcast, as we help you to navigate adversity
Dr. Brad Miller:in your life and to grow through whatever it is that
Dr. Brad Miller:you go through. So until next time, good people.
Dr. Brad Miller:This is Dr. Brad Miller. And I invite you to
Dr. Brad Miller:always do all the good that you can