Move Past Fear, Doubt And Step Into Freedom with the Creator of the Recovery at Work Coaching Program Maureen Ross Gemme
A company that helps individuals to discover themselves and step into leadership. They aim to guide people to become the leader they know they are, conscious, competent, and caring. And ultimately enjoy the life they have.
In this episode, Maureen shared how she overcame and recover from her miserable life with different addictions such as drugs and alcohol
In her childhood, Maureen grew up in a large family. Following up on her teenage years, she thought that figuring out who she was is the way to break away.
Maureen started to walk on the wrong path. She begins to have sex, drugs, and alcohol, and skip schooling, all sorts of things a 15-year-old girl would never imagine doing.
When Maureen finally realizes that it is all her fault why she is in that situation, she begins to read books, and slowly, her thinking becomes more positive. And she never stops there. She started to walk on the path to personal growth and development and switched her addiction from alcohol and drugs. Since 1985, Maureen has not taken a drink or drug.
For Maureen, pain is what makes us change. Also, the connection is one of the biggest advantages of her personality type and just being able to bond with people, really helped her save her soul.
Maureen Ross’s story is inspiring, motivating, and transformational testament of one who has walked the path of adversities and risen up from the depths of it full of scars, yet beautifully returned with knowledge and power to help other people recover as well.
Episode 227 of The Beyond Adversity Podcast is a must-listen for any person who strayed from the straight path and walked through adversities and wants to be inspired and motivated to change and recover to live a life full of happiness and love.
“The Beyond Adversity Podcast with Dr. Brad Miller is published weekly with the mission of helping people “Grow Through What They Go Through” as they navigate adversity and discover their promised life of peace, prosperity and purpose.
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Transcript
Yeah, Maureen, we welcome you to Beyond Adversity.
Maureen Ross::Thank you, Brad. It's very nice to be here.
Brad Miller::Indeed, it is a pleasure to have you on beyond the adversity. And as we have said
Brad Miller::many times this podcast is all about helping folks to navigate rough patches in their
Brad Miller::life and come out to a better place. And I know you'll have had your share of
Brad Miller::challenges to deal with. And you've leveraged some of those challenges that you
Brad Miller::have navigated to do some of your teaching and leadership now, but let's just share
Brad Miller::a bit of your background story about how you got to where you're at now and go
Brad Miller::over counsel with things, you've dealt with. So start with wherever you'd like to
Brad Miller::start, giving us a little background about who you are.
Maureen Ross::Thank you. I do I just love the name of your podcast, I just want to start with that.
Maureen Ross::Because when you really understand that adversity is just a tool for growth, to help
Maureen Ross::you become more of who you are, and grow into the potential that you're meant to
Maureen Ross::be on the planet. It's like, it's almost like, Okay, bring it on. Sometimes when you
Maureen Ross::finally get that, but before you get that I was just a victim. I was just a victim of my
Maureen Ross::circumstances. Okay. So I grew up in a family with six kids, my mom and dad had
Maureen Ross::six kids and eight and a half years. That's called
Brad Miller::
That’s a Big Family. All right, good, good, good.
Maureen Ross::And I was pretty much told what to do and when to do it, and how to do it. And you
Maureen Ross::know, sometimes why I did have some choices. But mostly I was one of the pack
Maureen Ross::and I fit in there. And you know, it was, there was love and my family in later years.
Maureen Ross::In my teenage years, my dad did become an alcoholic, but he was very mild
Maureen Ross::mannered, kind of drunk just wasn't emotionally available for us fell asleep on the
Maureen Ross::couch that sort of ride. But for the most part, my job in breaking away as an
Maureen Ross::adolescent was to figure out who I was, and I was clueless, I had no idea who I was.
Maureen Ross::And so when I was growing up, what was going on sex, drugs, rock and roll, and
Maureen Ross::that's what I did. So I got mixed into doing drugs and alcohol, so I could fit in. And
Maureen Ross::that's what you know, peers and peer pressure was doing. And I was I was quite the
Maureen Ross::follower, if you will. And I turned into a very angry teenager, and I never wore
Maureen Ross::shoes. I was skipping school all the time. In my 10th year of high school, I skipped
Maureen Ross::65 days of school because I just had such a bad attitude. I mean, we're talking 15, I
Maureen Ross::was a full-blown alcoholic by that. Wow. And I, I so much so that in my I was sick all
Maureen Ross::the time, constant throat viruses and bronchitis and all that comes out of smoking,
Maureen Ross::I was popping whatever pill anybody gave me. I was sneaking out of the house at
Maureen Ross::night. And I found myself in some very dangerous situations, and I was victimized
Maureen Ross::sexually, you know, and all the things that you can't even stand to think of your kids
Maureen Ross::going through at 15. Right. And so in my junior year of high school, I actually spent
Maureen Ross::the whole first week of school in detentions making up for all the detentions I
Maureen Ross::missed in the previous year before they would give me my schedule. The same
Maureen Ross::thing happened in my senior year. But after the first day of detentions, I said, Give
Maureen Ross::me my schedule or I walk. I knew enough now to be that angry person was the way
Maureen Ross::I got my way. So anyways, long the short of it is between the ages of 17 and 24. I, I
Maureen Ross::moved 13 times. I was constantly running from who I was, but I always had a strong
Maureen Ross::work ethic. I'm not really sure why I'm kind of glad about that, because it served me
Maureen Ross::well. In the beginning, it was so that I could, you know, support my habit, my bad
Maureen Ross::habits, but I worked full-time, and I always worked part-time in a bar so I didn't
Maureen Ross::have to pay for drinks, right and I could drink for free and flirt for free and, you
Maureen Ross::know, have the money that I needed to pay my bills and live on my own. But I really
Maureen Ross::was into blaming people and places and I knew the reason I was so messed up was
Maureen Ross::because Connecticut you see netiquette sucked.
Brad Miller::Oh, you kind of blamed your location is that what you're saying?
Maureen Ross::Oh yeah. I blame my bosses and my boyfriends and my girlfriends and you
Maureen Ross::know, my apartment landlord didn't matter. Nothing was my fault. Right? It was I
Maureen Ross::was just angry, and I couldn't figure anything out. So I did take a geographical cure.
Maureen Ross::And I moved to Texas because I heard a story. And that was, you know, a story of
Maureen Ross::adventure. And I wanted to figure out who I was and how to get there. So in some
Maureen Ross::ways, I was chasing my potential, and in other ways, I was running from the chaos I
Maureen Ross::kept creating. And so I got a good job, I got a job as a bank teller. But after a time, I
Maureen Ross::got the part-time job in the bar, and I was then you know, off and running. And I
Maureen Ross::created all the same havoc and chaos that I had created in Connecticut. And guess
Maureen Ross::what, the only person to blame now was me, I could see my pattern. So finally I did,
Maureen Ross::I got my hands on that famous book Thinking Grow Rich, okay, the reason
Maureen Ross::everything was so bad because I didn't have any money.
Maureen Ross::That's gonna fix everything.
Brad Miller::So that was going to be the other escape route. You were trying to escape physical
Brad Miller::location and other relationships and money. Money was the other thing, right?
Maureen Ross::But here's the thing, that book is not about money at all. It's about how you think
Maureen Ross::it's about how you believe what you believe and how you believe in yourself.
Maureen Ross::So I started, to have more positively thinking. And I tried to make some changes.
Maureen Ross::And I read a lot of these kinds of self-help books. But nothing was changing,
Maureen Ross::because I couldn't give up my addictions. So finally, a series of bad things happen,
Maureen Ross::I won't go into suffice it to say, I hit my bottom pretty hard. It was painful to be in a
Maureen Ross::place of such self-loathing, guilt, shame, and just disgust with myself. I just
Maureen Ross::couldn't stand it anymore. And I did reach out, and I got the help I needed.
Maureen Ross::And I started on the path to personal growth and development. And I, I did go
Maureen Ross::through a 12-step program, I went through therapy, I have read 1000s of books,
Maureen Ross::and hundreds, hundreds of programs have taken hundreds of them over the years.
Maureen Ross::And honestly, I have never stopped. So I kind of switched my addiction from
Maureen Ross::alcohol and drugs into personal growth and development. But it was much more
Maureen Ross::healthy. And it was all about me. So now it has been since February 3 1985.
Maureen Ross::I have not taken a drink or drug.
Brad Miller::Congratulations on that. Because so many people, when it comes to substance
Brad Miller::abuse, you know, it's a pattern they drop, they have some bad thing happen. And
Brad Miller::they swear they're never going to do it again. And but they get off the wagon,
Brad Miller::as some people say, and away they go on a very difficult spiral spiraling pattern.
Maureen Ross::There's a whole host of reasons why some people, you know, relapse, and some
Maureen Ross::people don't. I don't know why I didn't except to say I was just in a place where I
Maureen Ross::had just moved from San Antonio to Austin, Texas. And my boyfriend at the time,
Maureen Ross::both of us had gotten transferred with our jobs. Then as soon as we got to Austin,
Maureen Ross::they transferred him to Phoenix. And he was happy to go he was he was tired of
Maureen Ross::me. And so I suddenly had no friends, and I had no buddy to drink with. And it
Maureen Ross::became very, very obvious to me that I had a problem because now I couldn't just
Maureen Ross::say it was so sure anymore. But that's good. Yeah, you know, because that's the
Maureen Ross::pain that makes us change,
Brad Miller::the pain that makes us change. And I love when you say that because not
Brad Miller::everybody changes when the pain comes. Some people kind of I call it the malaise
Brad Miller::of mediocrity or the malaise of misery, they kind of wallow in the misery they kind
Brad Miller::of take, some comfort in the misery and you chose not to do that. And you chose to
Brad Miller::take some action. You've mentioned a couple already. But, you know, obviously,
Brad Miller::you're a successful author and podcaster, and a coach and a leader now, and you're
Brad Miller::flourishing in many ways. Sure, you have some challenges as well.
Brad Miller::Now, even now, what do you think?
Maureen Ross::Oh, no, wait a minute. No, I'm perfect Brad.
Brad Miller::You're the one that's why we're talking to you today Maureen, for we were looking
Brad Miller::for the perfect one and here you are.
Maureen Ross::But I do want to say one thing about that. Sure. Because I think that there are some
Maureen Ross::people in life one of the things that I've really found a love for is understanding
Maureen Ross::human behavior. So in my 40s, I went back to school and I got my undergrad in
Maureen Ross::psychology and my master's in edgy Keishon and I started to study all all things
Maureen Ross::personality. And I went through Myers Briggs, I've taught that I learned the
Maureen Ross::Enneagram. And now I teach everything disc. And when you understand that, I feel
Maureen Ross::like I've been graced with to be a people person, right to have enthusiasm and a
Maureen Ross::Pollyanna, if you will outlook on life, I see the good in others, and I see the good in
Maureen Ross::people. And there are other people who are the ones who wallow. And I think,
Maureen Ross::you know, it depends on how you were raised to culture you were raised in and all
Maureen Ross::those things we were conditioned with. But in the end, there are some people that
Maureen Ross::are very just questioning and sceptical, and they're introverted, and they just go
Maureen Ross::within, and they don't get the help they need, and they don't make those
Maureen Ross::connections with people. And I think the connection is one of the biggest,
Maureen Ross::you know, advantages of my personality type and just being able to bond
Maureen Ross::with people, it's really helped me it's saved, my soul.
Brad Miller::Well, that's, you've gone to a few places, I really want to go with you. You've talked
Brad Miller::about connections, you've talked about education, you know, getting your
Brad Miller::education, you've talked about, you know, just reading and, and the mind to work,
Brad Miller::and out, save your soul. Let's kind of narrow down a little bit I like to think about an
Brad Miller::actionable points that can be helpful to our audience. What do you think are maybe
Brad Miller::two or three actions that you took or really pivotal that kind of kept you from being
Brad Miller::that person just stuck back in your days of being really stuck into, you know,
Brad Miller::alcohol and other things to the personnel with personnel who has a lot to offer?
Brad Miller::What are some of the actions that you took?
Maureen Ross::In the beginning, it was all just learning to love me. The more you figure out who
Maureen Ross::you are, what you stand for, what your values are, doing that deep work to discover
Maureen Ross::what you believe, and what you don't align within your heart and your soul?
Maureen Ross::Because the more you understand yourself, the more you can help others.
Maureen Ross::You know, it's, it's a, it's so true, you can't just become a doctor, for example, and
Maureen Ross::help all these other people and never feed yourself good nutrition or ever exercise
Maureen Ross::or never sleep, what right you do have to do for yourself before you can do
Maureen Ross::for others. And so it's like, you know how inner peace or world peace starts with
Maureen Ross::inner peace. It's like, any kind of leadership in the world to become who you really
Maureen Ross::want to be. It starts with inner leadership. So for me, that was getting vulnerable
Maureen Ross::and honest with myself, who am I? What, you know, am I doing this for you so
Maureen Ross::that you'll like me? Or am I doing it? Because this is really who I am? And I feel
Maureen Ross::good? I, you know, do you do I really honor myself. And you don't just wake up one
Maureen Ross::day from self-loathing and say, Okay, I quit drinking. Now, I love myself.
Brad Miller::that's kind of a process. I call that the world, I call that the wilderness experience
Brad Miller::that people, you just don't automatically switch from, you know, from being in this
Brad Miller::bad place to a good place, you got to go through some of the pain of recovery, you
Brad Miller::got to go through some of the pain of the wilderness experience and, and get
Brad Miller::through, then you got to choose to do to keep going one step at a time,
Brad Miller::even when it's pretty
Maureen Ross::rough. Oh, and it's hurt. Yeah. And it's scary. You have to walk through the fear you
Maureen Ross::really like in the program, in the 12 steps, you have to surrender. That's the first
Maureen Ross::step, you have to do a thorough moral and inventory of yourself, and what have
Maureen Ross::you heard, what bad things did you do and you have to make amends, you have to
Maureen Ross::you know, really take your ego and, and push it away, you have to let go of all of
Maureen Ross::that stuff, how people see you what you know what they think of you, or we call it
Maureen Ross::goop you know, the good opinion of other people is none of my business.
Brad Miller::you got to do the inner work because a 12-step program is all about that type of
Brad Miller::thing. And the folks who do follow it, you know, have an opportunity to Hey,
Brad Miller::indeed have recovery. And you chose that route and do teach a lot of this in what
Brad Miller::you teach now and but it has to do with a commitment to the inner life and I'd like
Brad Miller::to go there with you for a few minutes. Maureen. What do you think is the value of
Brad Miller::the importance of connecting with something greater than self? Spiritual life it
Brad Miller::might be religion, it might be meditation might be something you know, something
Brad Miller::else, but is there are a part of this process for you, which is about the inner life,
Brad Miller::the spiritual life or so to be on self, which is part of this part of this
Brad Miller::transformation for you.
Maureen Ross::Oh, indeed, yes, yes. Yes. So being raised Catholic, I had kind of a punishing God,
Maureen Ross::when I first started. And it was kind of scary for me. I used to, you know, really just
Maureen Ross::think that, you know, I knew what a piece of crap I was, certainly God knew, you
Maureen Ross::know, and I was going to hell, because of all the, quote, sins I had created, or, you
Maureen Ross::know, participated in. But the more I built my self esteem, the more I realized that
Maureen Ross::God loved me there. There's no, there's none of this. I really don't even believe in
Maureen Ross::sin. One of the things I've studied extensively is A Course in Miracles.
Maureen Ross::Are you familiar with the course?
Brad Miller::Familiar with miracles? There are several,
Maureen Ross::it's a specific, but it doesn't make it
Brad Miller::That's okay.There are several sort of things out there. I'm not sure that but this
Brad Miller::specific one, but go ahead, go ahead with your thought of with your thought.
Maureen Ross::I don't want to have to explain. Yeah, I understand. But sometimes people know
Maureen Ross::about the courts. Anyways, what what I learned was that, or when I began to
Maureen Ross::change, my idea of my higher power is not some deity that was judging me and
Maureen Ross::going to send me to hell or, or heaven after I die. I think that now that the energy of
Maureen Ross::Source of All That Is, is an energy of love, just love, like the unconditional love, like it
Maureen Ross::doesn't, whatever choices I make, it's me that judges myself, my conscience that
Maureen Ross::knows when I've done something bad or good, you know, when I align with who I
Maureen Ross::am, I feel great. And even though it might not be right for you, it might be right for
Maureen Ross::me, because I've learned to listen, right? We all have our own inner guidance
Maureen Ross::system. So I do meditate every single day. For a while I called myself a recovering
Maureen Ross::Catholic, I called myself a born again, pagan for a while, okay, I do believe in
Maureen Ross::the energy of the organized energy of the universe, that there is a not a reason, but
Maureen Ross::I do believe that everything happens for my highest good. And that it's my way of
Maureen Ross::seeing it. Like even if I become a victim in the world, there is some gift in there.
Maureen Ross::For me, it is for my growth that every adversity leads, you know,
Maureen Ross::has the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit. Sure. Polian Hill.
Maureen Ross::Yeah, you know, so that those things are beliefs now because I've studied them,
Maureen Ross::and I've seen them happen over and over again. And
Brad Miller::But certainly the transition has been wanting to get into some of the transition
Brad Miller::when when were you kind of out of your religious experience growing up, there was
Brad Miller::kind of a negativity or, you know, doom and gloom, or, you know, the all mighty
Brad Miller::God is gonna crush you. And now you have the almighty or whatever it is for your
Brad Miller::good yet for your benefit, that you've made this connection, this transformation
Brad Miller::that is illuminated, you made you feel good about yourself,
Brad Miller::because you know, you're a good person, and you've got good things going on.
Brad Miller::And that's, that's spiritual enlightenment. From my perspective, and,
Brad Miller::and I don't believe any really transition takes place without a couple of secrets
Brad Miller::already, you're taking some action, you know, reading, education,
Brad Miller::all that kind of thing. And then the inner work, the inner spiritual work or
Brad Miller::enlightenment, however, we'll get one was determine that.
Maureen Ross::Well, in working with people, Brad, don't use don't use think that that
Maureen Ross::transformation occurs when you have those shifts, when you have those aha
Maureen Ross::moments, when suddenly, what you were thinking for so long, you sort of realize,
Maureen Ross::oh, that's wrong, that doesn't work for me. I'm going to think this way instead. And
Maureen Ross::then things start changing. I mean, people see the miracles. So there's small
Brad Miller::people will say things like that they used from algae, like something snapped,
Brad Miller::something clicked. It was a miracle, you know, a miracle, almost by definition, is
Brad Miller::something that it was going wrong, that suddenly went right. And
Maureen Ross::shift in perception
Brad Miller::It's a perception. Absolutely. And, and then I believe the other part of
Brad Miller::this is in you know, we have that moment of transition. But the moment of but
Brad Miller::transformation calmed as we live that out, and that becomes whom we are. So tell
Brad Miller::us a little bit about that for you, Maureen about how's life now and I want to go to
Brad Miller::Well, disciplines, practices, everyday life, relationships, how they all integrate in
Brad Miller::your life to help make your life better. And now you also integrate that in serving
Brad Miller::others. Let's talk about how you your mind has changed in these disciplines.
Maureen Ross::Okay, so I do believe in the discipline of having a morning practice. But first I will sell
Maureen Ross::tell you that, generally speaking, I got married, three years sober. And we've been
Maureen Ross::together for 34 years now, we have a 32 year old adult child who is now has four
Maureen Ross::children. So they, I have four grandchildren, right down, they live right down the
Maureen Ross::street, I love that I, you know, I just love seeing the joy, they keep me young. Sure.
Maureen Ross::I also had a 27 year corporate career, where I was able to self actualize in many of
Maureen Ross::my roles there over the years. And I came out in 2013, and started my own
Maureen Ross::business emerge Leadership Academy. And now I teach leaders,
Maureen Ross::I teach leadership teams, or, or managers and their teams, how to really
Maureen Ross::understand themselves and understand each other a little bit better.
Maureen Ross::So they have higher levels of emotional intelligence, which also creates higher levels
Maureen Ross::of productivity and that sort of thing. And I, I also work with one on one individuals
Maureen Ross::who feel stuck, because they want to get to the next level in their career,
Maureen Ross::but they're still busy blaming people places or, but we might have, a lot of times we
Maureen Ross::have emotional blockages, so I help people go through that process.
Maureen Ross::So my own practice is to get up every morning. And first thing is meditate.
Maureen Ross::I don't start without that. That's the first thing. Even if I have a four o'clock plane to
Maureen Ross::jump on, I wake up early, and I met take for at least 10 minutes. And then
Maureen Ross::I exercise because it's important to keep our body healthy, so that we have to give
Maureen Ross::others then i have breakfast with my my husband and we read a couple of books
Maureen Ross::usually spiritual in nature. Right now we're reading, aging, from aging to saging,
Maureen Ross::it's really good about becoming an elder and getting Turing elderhood to really help
Maureen Ross::society and the planet and people. And then finally, I, I then do everything I can to
Maureen Ross::give back to give what I have, so that I can help other people have those shifts,
Maureen Ross::those little miracles, I can help other people to transform out of negative ways of
Maureen Ross::thinking into better belief systems, understanding their values, so that they can be
Maureen Ross::happy regardless of their situation. Because it's in finding your happiness,
Maureen Ross::internally, that suddenly all the external stuff starts to change. It's not the job
Maureen Ross::you're gonna find your happiness in, or you know, the man or the woman or
Maureen Ross::the kid's event or any of that it's every day, work, inner work and getting in
Maureen Ross::touch with your own internal joy and peace. And that means aligning with
Maureen Ross::who you are, with what you know, and giving, it's
Brad Miller::hard as satisfaction, how to have relationships or the stuff of life, you know, the
Brad Miller::new house or car or whatever, without having some satisfaction and be in a good
Brad Miller::place in your own in your own self. self actualization, as you say, and I just am a big
Brad Miller::believer that and then a part of that process. You've already mentioned this house,
Brad Miller::how gratifying it is to serve others. And I think it comes out of your
Brad Miller::own experiences and a love of your heart to share that with other people.
Brad Miller::And so tell us what some of the middle of a more specific what are the some of the
Brad Miller::ways you could do serve other people? Maybe tell us about what you teach in your
Brad Miller::book or what have been some of the seminars that you have. What are some of the
Brad Miller::specific ways that you serve others?
Maureen Ross::Okay, so my, my whole the process that I lead people through is is really how I
Maureen Ross::serve and I'm an educator by trade. I mean, I love to learn and so I I pass on my
Maureen Ross::knowledge and experience, but I do that in a way that you know, people can take it
Maureen Ross::in, so you have to do you have to start with where they are. But any client that I
Maureen Ross::work with, I help explain. First we take care of the past. We go through, you know,
Maureen Ross::what is your belief system? What did you know, how were you raised? Let's talk
Maureen Ross::about how you were programmed what You have, what traumas Have you been
Maureen Ross::through? And in helping people to understand how to feel those that that's really,
Maureen Ross::really helpful. Because once you own that, and you stop trying to stuff it all the
Maureen Ross::time, then you don't have to fall back on addictions. You know, my addictions aren't
Maureen Ross::the, you know, so many shopping and gambling and you know, sexting and all kinds
Maureen Ross::of stuff. So the longer the in eating, did we say that?
Brad Miller::It was there? All those are the biggies there. Yeah.
Maureen Ross::Yeah. And the second thing once you once you understand how you were
Maureen Ross::programmed, is to now forgive the whole process of forgiveness, right Brad you
Maureen Ross::have to forgive those people holding on to resentments is like
Maureen Ross::drinking poison and hoping your enemy
Brad Miller::even if they've been good, dead and gone for years and years,
Brad Miller::you still got to forgive them? Yeah,
Maureen Ross::Right. It's crazy. So we have processes for that right writing of letter sometimes.
Maureen Ross::And there's meditations that I do in the in that regard. Once you deal with the past,
Maureen Ross::you free up so much energy, but we also talk a lot about personality. I go through
Maureen Ross::tools, like let's understand your values, what are your top values? What are your
Maureen Ross::skills we do, sometimes, when people are looking for a new job with me, we talk
Maureen Ross::about resume writing and those kinds of skills, I've been in HR for years and in
Maureen Ross::leadership, and then we talk about planning how you are a co-creator, you have a
Maureen Ross::energy within you. And that's based a lot of times on how you think. And the higher
Maureen Ross::levels of thinking that you do, the higher levels of energy, you will expand or not
Maureen Ross::expand, vibrate at, and you will attract those higher level, higher vibrational beings
Maureen Ross::into your life jobs experiences. And that's really what we're all looking for. Right?
Maureen Ross::We're looking for fulfillment, and we're looking for to really enjoy life on the
Maureen Ross::planner. So this is this is how I help people through that.
Brad Miller::That's, that's awesome. And I'm just a big believer that the sense of meaning less
Brad Miller::ness is an epidemic in our world. And that search for meaning, fullness is what
Brad Miller::many people crave so much that I noticed. And Google put out a video article here
Brad Miller::a while back about the top search terms and what the top search term was how to
Brad Miller::heal. And so that, you know, this, this just puts out that, you know, that is
Brad Miller::something that's on people's minds. And right there a lot, so. So tell us
Maureen Ross::one of the things I'd like to just comment on that you just said that might help your
Maureen Ross::listeners. And it's this, it's a belief, okay, it's a bully, everything is a belief, just a
Maureen Ross::thought that we think over and over again. But this one has really, really helped me.
Maureen Ross::And that is this. Nothing has any meaning. Except for what you give it. That's the
Maureen Ross::truth. That's true. Nothing has any meaning except for what you give it. So if
Maureen Ross::something is really meaningful to you, and you know, you have to get rid of it.
Maureen Ross::Just start letting go of the meaning bear, right. Let it go. Let it go. What so that's
Maureen Ross::what happens when people go through a divorce, they have to let go. And it's hard.
Maureen Ross::Yet So meaningful when they had it.
Brad Miller::Real, that's absolutely the case. And so that leads me to ask you one more thing
Brad Miller::here about, you've mentioned, you know, how you've been helpful to other people?
Brad Miller::How about a story about a person or situation that based on your teaching or
Brad Miller::leadership or your book or something that, you know, okay, they get it. And it's
Brad Miller::been helpful, and they've shared that with you. Do you have that type of story?
Maureen Ross::Yeah, most of the people that I work with are, they're seasoned professionals
Maureen Ross::because I worked in a corporate environment for so long. But they but there's a lot
Maureen Ross::of people who get to a certain level in their career. So I have this one guy, no, and
Maureen Ross::he was a director at an insurance company, right. And he was kind of stuck for
Maureen Ross::about 14 years, he had four people reporting to him. He made a certain salary got a
Maureen Ross::little bonus every year, but he knew he had more potential. He was 49 years old
Maureen Ross::when he came to me and come to find out, you know, he was raised in an alcohol
Maureen Ross::with an alcoholic father. And there there was a lot of that voice, right?
Maureen Ross::That stops us that create inner critic. Sometimes that happens when you are raised
Maureen Ross::in an environment where you're not totally loved and supported, but you're told to
Maureen Ross::shut up and be quiet and you do what you have to do to survive. Then you get to a
Maureen Ross::place you have a certain amount of success, but you sort of hit this wall like I can't
Maureen Ross::get any higher, how do I do this? So we work together, he went through my
Maureen Ross::program. And within four months, he had a new job at a new company,
Maureen Ross::a to grade level promotion, he's an assistant vice president now, he's got 30 people
Maureen Ross::under him, and managers and then you know, others under under them.
Maureen Ross::And he raised his, his increase the salary by 30%. So he was making like, 200,
Maureen Ross::now he's making 300,000, and he got this huge bonus, sign up, you know,
Maureen Ross::not just not a sign off, but like a performance bonus. And we continue to work
Maureen Ross::together, because it's so important to have somebody to bounce things off of,
Maureen Ross::you know, and now he's training his people, he's building relationships.
Maureen Ross::And it's easy to fall back into old habits. Because you know, your victimizer wants to
Maureen Ross::keep you small, your ego really does. So this is how I help people.
Maureen Ross::That's great. it's such an amazing amount of growth.
Brad Miller::But you do have an amazing story in your own right. And you're helping people.
Brad Miller::And that's what I love to see, I love to see people who take action, who care enough
Brad Miller::to go to the inner life to connect with something greater than self. And then there,
Brad Miller::they live it out in their discipline life, and then they serve others with love. And
Brad Miller::that's kind of what I like to teach and be about and a your you've proven to be
Brad Miller::helpful to others. I'm sure you're there's somebody here into your voice, hearing
Brad Miller::our voices here today, who you've been very helpful to. And so if people do want to
Brad Miller::get to make a connection with you, Maureen, how can they do that?
Brad Miller::What are they going to find?
Maureen Ross::I would love for people to visit me at emergeleadershipacademy.com And take the
Maureen Ross::quiz and find out what animal best represents your leadership style. Now I know
Maureen Ross::for if you're more serious in nature, just ignore the animal because underneath
Maureen Ross::that, you're gonna find some good information. And, and also, if you're interested
Maureen Ross::in if you're in recovery, or you're, you're a speaker, and you have a way to help
Maureen Ross::people, you can listen to my podcast, emerge, evolve lead, it's for people in
Maureen Ross::recovery. And you'll hear some very inspiring stories about people who get into
Maureen Ross::leadership. Because if you're in recovery, and you've already done that deep inner
Maureen Ross::work, you should be leading and helping other people and contributing in that way.
Maureen Ross::Because the world needs more good leadership with empathetic listening, and so
Maureen Ross::forth. So it which is what you have, Brad, thank you so much for providing this
Maureen Ross::forum for people to continue to heal and grow in their lives.
Brad Miller::That's my, my pleasure. And it's also a pleasure to get connected, folks. Like you
Brad Miller::have a similar heart to reach folks who are disconnected and they're stuck in some
Brad Miller::form of life and just need a little nudge, a little coaching a little direction to help
Brad Miller::them to get to a better place to get on the pathway to peace, prosperity and
Brad Miller::purpose. And you've been very helpful with that. And I will also mention that, you
Brad Miller::know, another resource that you have in your book seven steps to transformation
Brad Miller::and we'll put connections to everything to her web website, emerge leadership
Brad Miller::academy.com. Everything will be at our show notes at Dr Brad miller.com. And our
Brad Miller::guest today is Maureen Ross Gemme, what a pleasure to have you as our guest
Brad Miller::today on the beyond diversity podcast. Thank you, Maureen.