From A Gun to Her Head to Coaching Abused Women to Ruffle Some Feathers and Blow Some Minds With Christine Malik

[00:00:00] Dr. Brad Miller:

Christine Malik, welcome to Beyond Adversity.

[00:00:03] Christine Malik:

Thank you, Dr. Brad. I appreciate it. Thank you.

[00:00:05] Dr. Brad Miller:

The Foundation of the podcast is helping people face some of the adversities they've had in life and find their way through it. Tell me a little bit about grist, about what are some of the adverse life conditions you found yourself in that you had to get yourself out.

[00:00:21] Christine Malik:

The biggest ones are abuse and domestic violence. That was a tough one, especially for a woman like me. I've always been. In touch with my masculine side, I have always been very strong. Um, sassy stands for strong, assertive, smart, sexy, and independent, and I always thought that I carried that essence within me and brought it out.

And having to go through abuse and domestic violence was unheard of for me. I never thought I would have to go through that physical abuse that I had endured and survived and gotten through, including everything from the black eyes to the bruises all over my body. I was beaten with a rubber mallet, so I had a cracked rest.

Um, three cracked ribs, but the biggest one was the headshot wound. That was my breaking point. That was the one where I said, enough is. Yeah, I guess. I guess so. My goodness. Wow. Yeah, it was; I laugh now, but it was not pretty back then.

[00:01:31] Dr. Brad Miller:

I mean, we're talking about life-threatening abuse, aren't we?

[00:01:35] Christine Malik:

Absolutely. Absolutely. I survived all that, and I got through all the physical, mental, psychological, and verbal. Those are the abuses that take much, much longer to heal. My last dealings with the ex were back in 2020, and we had already been separated for two years, and the court system was almost another form of abuse that I had to go through wasn't. It wasn't until this year, the beginning of the year, end of last year, that I found my voice and was able to talk about this and bring it to light and let people know that this does go on. There are no backgrounds that are not affected. It doesn't matter whether you are wealthy or poor or black, white, or Indian; does not matter. This goes on, and as a woman finally found her voice, I want to let other women know that if you can't find yours, there are those of us who have found it, and we need to get the word out there. It's still very much prevalent, even in 2022. Abuse of domestic violence is still prevalent.

[00:02:55] Dr. Brad Miller:

I've talked to many people in my life who had this issue, and I come from a background in ministry. I found myself in ministry on more than one occasion dealing with counselling situations of whether this was the issue and you said something there.

Very important. Christine, you found your voice, and I'm sure that someone on the way helped you find your voice. I'm going to get into that process there in just a second here. But to understand, I wanted to make sure we have the framework. This was in a marital situation? Yes, it was. So marital violence is very prevalent.

Other kinds of violence happen. You know, there's the abuse of children and all kinds of terrible things that go on here, but you're focusing on helping women, particularly to face this, to understand it, and as you say, find your voice. So let's talk about Christine. What were some of the actions that you took?

One way or another, it sounds to me like you were kind of in a vicious cycle. You were stuck. You stayed with it, beat up and then shot, and stayed with it a long time. But what are some of the ways you finally found your voice? What were some of the actions that you took that kind of broke this pattern?

[00:04:09] Christine Malik:

It wasn't an action that I took, Brad. It was an encounter with Archangel Michael. I thought it was God when it happened. I didn't find out till afterwards, but he came to me and said everything would be okay. I've had many very low points in my life.

The ex was finally out of my life. He and I were together for seven years, almost seven years after I endured his abuse. Wow. Finally, I managed to find my inner voice and essence and my sassy to say; enough is enough. You need to go. Just go. This is not working. In the process, this is where I became an alcoholic, a drug addict.

I ended up in the hospital because of the abuse and alcoholism. I was in and out for about a year. I had four surgeries and 15 procedures and died on my operating table twice. Throughout the marriage and the seven years, I attempted suicide several times because it was that bad.

I was completely alone. I finally kicked the alcohol, finally got me off the pain pills, the drugs too, because I was in so much pain from all these surgeries that I had. And I was lying on the bed, getting ready for the evening and going to sleep, and the pain in my body was excruciating.

I had given birth to three children, but there was no pain quite like what I was experiencing.

[00:05:46] Dr. Brad Miller:

Was this from surgery or an injury, or something else?

[00:05:50] Christine Malik:

It was the fact that all these surgeries had happened. It was a year, and my final surgery was because the alcohol abuse got so bad they had to put a stent in my liver.

Um, I see. Okay. Again, I had, you know, I said that I died on the table twice. In the second surgery, they removed my appendix, my gallbladder, part of my intestine, part of my colon, and my whole left fallopian tube. And when the surgeon went in there, he saw how bad my liver was. He said that you know, he, he bas the only words that, that I absolutely will never forget from my surgeon when he came in after that surgery was, um, Christine, if you take one more drink, you will.

And I was That's pretty profound,

[00:06:38] Dr. Brad Miller:

Did that, did that get your attention? I assume that it did, right?

[00:06:41] Christine Malik:

It did. I said then, and I will continue to say today, and I am now sober a little over six years. Um, I said that's a theory I don't want to test. I will take your word for it, doc.

[00:06:57] Dr. Brad Miller:

It was a pivotal moment there. And so essentially your behaviour did change after that pretty much.

[00:07:04] Christine Malik:

Well, what happened was, I believe my spirits were looking over me throughout my whole life only. I didn't know it until I had this experience two years after the hospital.

Because of the gunshot wound. They were there because of the attempted suicides. And when I say my last attempted suicide was taking a full bottle of sleeping pills and drinking a full bottle of alcohol, I wanted nothing more. I had written letters to my children. Um, I had written my goodbye letters.

I was fully prepared to leave this earth.

[00:07:46] Dr. Brad Miller:

So this was a serious, serious attempt. It was not some getting attention thing. Sometimes people do. You were ready.

[00:07:53] Christine Malik:

I was ready. When he had the gun to the back of my head, I was sitting on the toilet, and he had the gun to the back of my head.

I wanted to die right then and there. Life as I knew it was not worth living anymore. And he had it pointed down enough. It should have gone into my head, and I should not be here today. And if it were not for my angels stepping in. I wouldn't be. Because again, I had attempted suicide several times throughout my life.

Three while I was married to this man. The gunshot wound of the head. I should not, I. I've crashed my bike—a motorcycle. Um, I should not be alive. and it's only because of them that they had guided me to be here. Mm-hmm. and to say, this is your path, Christine. This is what you need to do. This is what you need to get out to the world.

You need to shine your light and let women know, and men let them know. And, and anybody else who, you know, anybody dealing with addictions, anybody dealing with suicide. Some people can help. There are people that we will listen. We're here for a reason. We're here to help you and let you know that you're not alone, and that we can fix this together

[00:09:14] Dr. Brad Miller:

In this particular case, you allowed yourself to be aware of the spiritual forces in your life, your arch angel as you, as you, as you frame it, and, and put it and tell us more about that, about how that was pivotal, how that gave you some sense that you, because you, you know, when you're have a gun to your head, literally you've attempted suicide. You've an abusive relationship and alcohol and other surgeries and things like that.

There's a lot, a lot of aloneness there. It's a lot of, uh, meaning lessness, which is involved with that. But this spiritual experience gave you a sense of presence, which is what you're saying here, Christine. So tell me more about how this sense of presence became pivotal for you, this spiritual.

[00:10:05] Christine Malik:

So as I was laying there on the bed in excruciating pain, and at this point in my life, I had given up on God. I was a retired Catholic. I teased that I didn't because of the hypocrisy of being a Catholic mm-hmm. , but I found myself begging and pleading to him to please take this pain away.

It was so excruciating when I say that. cell and my body hurt. Every cell in my body hurt. The pain was, and I know for a fact that I have a high tolerance for pain, giving birth to three children. This, this was intolerable. The pain was just excruciating, and I laid on the bed. I couldn't move, I couldn't toss it to, there was no position to get comfortable in, and I'm begging God, please take this pain.

[00:11:00] I know you're there. Take the pain away. Please, please. I, you start the bargaining process. I'll do anything for you to take this pain away. As I lay there crying, a small orb of a light entered the room, and I watched it, and as it got closer, it got bigger and the light got brighter and the light was so bright.

and calm that if you could look at the sun, if you could truly look at the sun mm-hmm. and see the bright. That's how bright this light was. But it didn't hurt my eyes. It didn't burn. There was no heat associated with it. No cold associated with it. And as this light came closer over my bed and over me, it got brighter and warmer and enveloped.

my whole body, the amount of love, is true, and I still get teary-eyed when I talk about it and feel it because it is there. That love that I felt was a love like no other. It, it's the only comparable love is a parent with a child. Um, and even that doesn't come close to the love from God. And again, I thought it was God.

I, I didn't know till several months later.

[00:12:30] Dr. Brad Miller:

But to be clear, there was no sense of intimidation or fear or drawing back or No. Pulled the covers up or anything like that?

[00:12:37] Christine Malik:

No. Okay. No total peace. The love and the peace and the, the, the calm was there and as the bright light of love enveloped me and I could feel it, and I.

The pain was immediately gone. I felt the arms or wings wrapped around my body. I was lifted off the bed and could see myself lifting to the ceiling. It wasn't very far, maybe a foot, two feet off the bed. It was this

[00:13:08] Dr. Brad Miller:

kind of a spiritual thing, or were you feeling a physical presence as well?

[00:13:12] Christine Malik:

Oh no, no physical presence. This was completely spiritual. Completely spiritual. It was, I'm. It, uh, it was like I said, a as I found out later, it was Arch Angel Michael with his wings lifting me off the bed. Okay. The love and the, the, the peace and the calm is, is just something I will never forget. And as, as humans in general, very few of us will ever experience.

And I don't, I have not been able to find the correct words, English language to put what I felt and what this light and. Was is. And the only thing he whispered to me, he held me. And, and it was a, a good long few moments. I could feel his love and I could feel the peace. He whispered in my left ear, Christine, everything will be okay.

That was it. Nothing else. But what I felt and the exchange that we had was. Okay. Life is gonna be all right. Life is gonna, I need to believe again. I need to find my faith. I need to trust in my guides and my angels.

[00:14:32] Dr. Brad Miller:

Let's just pause there for a second, Christine, because I just think some of the things you're saying are really important.

You were not just having an experience and kind of delighting in the experience, but you've used this then to help you move forward in your life. You said trust guide, uh, transformative. You didn't use that word. Transformative is a transformative experience out of this. So tell me a little bit then, Christine, how this experience led you to change. You're a changed woman now from where you were then you're out of this abusive marriage and you said something a minute ago about being sober for several years. Uh, congratulations on both Counts. Way to go. Yay, God, uh, but you have to take practical steps then.

So let's talk a bit about how you could apply this, connecting with the higher power with your arc angel, and then change your. Let's talk about that for a second. What did you do then once you got outta that hospital bit and begin the actual healing process? and having more purpose in your life.

Tell me about, about those types of things.

[00:15:42] Christine Malik:

It was a day-to-day thing. I had to, that was hard being, being from an abusive relationship and all the childhood trauma that I had gone through, letting go. and having trust, and especially in a, in a, in an angel, something you cannot see, you cannot touch.

Uh, you know, it's not like I had communication with them, although I did find out after the fact that every little thing they put in front of me throughout my path and to get me here today. There were signs along the way. There were, um, you know, the, the eagles hawks, butterflies, those, those little synchronicities, they were there.

Mm-hmm. . And it took a lot for me to, and it, it, a lot of, a lot of times it was after the fact that, you know, I could have been, um, because going through the divorce between 2018 and 2020, No help from him whatsoever. I was on disability because of the surgeries and everything else. I had to relearn how to walk, relearn how to drive, try and, you know, move again, build my body back up.

I had lost so much weight. Being in the hospital for the first day was eight weeks. The second stay was seven weeks. I lost all my muscle.

[00:17:00] Dr. Brad Miller:

It was physical work to do to get back healthy. You had mental, emotional, and spiritual work, and I assume you also had relationship-oriented work to do in the sense that you had to learn how to develop kind of healthy relationships or new types of relationships based on this pattern you had of unhealthy relationships. It sounds like your pattern with your former husband Oh, yes. And was not unique. You know, you had other bad situations too. Yes. Is that fair?

[00:17:32] Christine Malik:

Absolutely. And the only relationship that mattered, and even to this day, the only relationship that matters is the one I have with myself.