PTP.031: Five Things Total Forgiveness IS!-Part 2

PTP.031: Five Things Total Forgiveness IS!

The Mission of the Pathway to Promise Podcast is to be a guide and provide a pathway for people to overcome adversity and achieve success in their life.  It is based on the promise that every person has a God-given promised life of peace, prosperity, and purpose available to them to claim.   The podcast is published weekly by Dr. Brad Miller, a lifelong student of life transformation with 35 years of experience in Christians ministry and an earned doctoral degree in transformational leadership.

In Episode 031 Dr. Brad teaches on forgiveness; in particular five ways to experience total and complete forgiveness in your life.  This is part 2 of a teaching on total and complete forgiveness.

In additional to Dr. Brad’s teaching Episode 031 will feature a contribution from Scatt Maderer from Christian stewardship Counseling who teaches about “finding your financial sherpa.”

Enjoy Episode 031 of The Pathway to Promise Podcast.

Dr. Brad Miller

September 2018

Inspired Stewardship

Read Full Transcript

Brad Miller 0:00
pathway to promise podcast with Dr. Brad Miller Episode Number 31 total and complete forgiveness how not to hold a grudge part to

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler 0:13
relationship health doctor and I am the author of Kaizen for couples smart steps to save, sustain and strengthen your relationship. I’m delighted to endorse Dr. Brad Miller as he helps people find their promise, life of peace, prosperity, and purpose right here

on the pathway to promise podcast. Stay tuned.

Brad Miller 0:37
We let things eat you alive. You know, it impacts everything else in your life. You know, an impact your marriage impacts, your health

impacts, how you have an outlook on life, it impacts everything and

we know that the people who have happiness in their life

and fulfillment in their life with people have learned the secret the freedom of total and complete forgiveness,

Unknown 1:01
you are on the pathway to promise with Dr. Brad Miller Bradley’s every person has a god given promise life of peace, prosperity and purpose. And that you must have a plan and a guide to get there. The pathway to promise podcast Not only is your guide through the wilderness of depression and disappointment that stand between you and your promise life, but also brings you insights and direction from inspiring successful thought leaders who have transformed their lives. Welcome to the pathway to promise now here’s Brad

Brad Miller 1:32
Hello game. Good people. My friend,

my friend, my friend, Dr. Brad Miller, here with the pathway to promise podcast.

It is awesome that you are joining me today on this episode number 31 pathway upon this podcast

where we are all about being helpful to you being helpful to you, to help you to understand that God has given you a promise, life of peace, prosperity and purpose. And that you have an opportunity to claim that life with you implement a plan and when do you have guides in your life can help you overcome adversity. Oh, death, divorce, disease, bad stuff happens in your life. It happens to all of us, doesn’t it? But you can overcome that and get on a pathway to have a great life, a wonderful life, a peaceful life. And that’s what we’re here to do. To give you a pathway to that promise life. I have a background in ministry, 35 years in ministry, and a doctoral degree and and transformational leadership. And I’m here to be helpful and I bring a lot of great guests and to be helpful as well to be helpful in your life to help you overcome whatever adversity you have your life into achieve success we call peace, prosperity, and purpose. Today’s episode Episode Number 31 of the pathway to promise is brought to you by and sponsored by the book The promise given life the 40 day way to overcome adversity and claim your promise life peace, prosperity and purpose that would be released later on this year here and you can get on the waiting list and download an excerpt from the book by going to pathway promise. com slash 40 day way it’s at our it’s at our website for today way calm, where you can learn more about what we’re about here. Learn more about me, Dr. Brad Miller, and about what we’re about here at the podcast. You can go to our catalog

Unknown 3:20
of great guests

Brad Miller 3:21
we’ve had in the past who can just gave some great teaching and insight on how to overcome all kinds of things in your life, depression and divorce and, and financial setbacks, and all kinds of things. Indeed, later on this episode, Scott Mater will be here who is from Christian stewardship counseling, and he will lead us in a session on financial freedom, particularly how to have a guide or a Sherpa. He calls it to help you be your freedom money guide. He’ll be here today a little bit later on to share with us that so we’re glad you’re here today. We want to teach today and share a little bit about forgiveness. You know, forgiveness is such a huge thing. We’ve been hurt in our life. All of us have Hathaway in my life. I’ve had some major setbacks in my life went through a terrible divorce A number of years ago that was very painful. I’ve had reversals where I’ve lost jobs, things like that. I’ve had people who have done me dirty if people steal money from me, I’ve had things my possessions stolen from me. I’ve been, you know, physically hurt at times beat up, people have heard me and yet here I am. People have hurt you haven’t you? Big you’ve gone through your painful times you somebody’s done. You dirty, what do you do with it, you can hold a grudge, that’s one thing you can do. That’s one thing we can do. And we can let it eat you alive. If we let it. And we let things eat you alive. You know, it impacts everything else in your life. You know, it impacts your marriage and impacts your health. It impacts how you have an outlook on life and impacts everything. And we know that the people who have happiness in their life have fulfillment in our life of people have learned the secret the freedom of total and complete forgiveness. And that’s what I wanted to share with you today. five ways that you can have the freedom of total and complete forgiveness. So just five things here for us to learn today. How to have total and complete forgiveness, five things to do. If you want to hear five things not to do go back to Episode 30. And I had some things to share with you about that. But today, five things to do to achieve total and complete forgiveness. Number one,

be aware of what someone has done and still forgive them.

That is to understand, you know, somebody did you dirty, somebody cheated on you, and you’re married, somebody took your money, somebody hurts you, physically. They did it, they did it, they hurt you. And yet you can still choose to forgive them. So that’s on us. We cannot be dependent on the other party to change our behavior. You can’t be dependent on that. It is a choice. It’s not a feeling. It’s not it’s an active, it is active will. It is a decision that we make that we’re going to forgive them to give us release us freedom. It’s not about the other party, it’s about us. The second thing that we can do friends to achieve total and complete forgiveness is to refuse to punish. You know, there is definitely right, the urge to lash out when someone has hurt us to defend. And you know, we have the Bible gives us kind of mixed messages there a little bit, you know, one part of the Bible it may say, you know, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, and another part of the Bible and might say, you know, turn the other cheek. Let’s understand, you know, what Jesus did is he asked people to forgive, and other party 70 times seven. And he forgave those who crucified Him. And He forgave those who denied him, and he forgave the those who are on the cross with him, every of those who crucified Him. Let’s understand that that doesn’t mean what they did was right. But he chose to forgive them and chose not to punish them. If we follow the biblical metaphor. And the story about Jesus, Jesus could have called down, you know, the lightning from heaven to destroy things and data we know that’s very, very possible didn’t happen that way. The Bible says, There is no fear in love. And so that means you cast out fear, perfect love drives out fear, and the one who fears is not made love. That’s from first john four. So I just keep that kind of thing in mind. Friends don’t punish guess what if you’ve tried to punish someone or get retribution, it doesn’t do any good. All it does is hurt you when you lash out and try to punish someone or to get even, you’re not getting even, you’re just making things worse, and it’s not going to do any good. So refuse to punish is another thing that we can do a total and complete freedom.

Something else that we can do to have total and complete freedom is to

Unknown 8:30
is to not tell what they did.

Unknown 8:35
Yeah, this is a tough one a little bit because it means that we

Brad Miller 8:40
aren’t calling them out, you know, it doesn’t do any good to do that really, we want to somehow confront the other party oftentimes are some want think that they are going to, if we confront them, that they are going to somehow confess their sin and want us to, you know, ask through forgiveness that happens sometimes, but we can’t force the issue. It’s not on us to do that. It’s not on us to be about that it is about us to do

understand that it’s about our decision about what we do. And so that’s another thing that we can be about here, friends, is understanding that this is not expecting them to do this for us. Here’s something else we can do. We can be gracious, we can be gracious, and being totally, forgiveness means we are graceful, and we have mercy. That means we are tolerant of others. And it means to be a person who is

not judgmental. This is very hard to do I get it. But if you want to have total complete forgiveness, this thing means understanding other people have junk going on in their life. It means that they sometimes carry out bad things because they have had some bad experience in their life. And we need to understand that that it’s going on,

it is going something’s wrong with him. And they’ve been how they grew up. Maybe if someone beat you up, maybe they were beaten as a child themselves. give you one example. We know that that is often often the case that people do that now doesn’t mean you accept that behavior course. But it means how we deal with it on our level is to be gracious, that’s how we have complete forgiveness. Remember, this is about what we do. It’s not dependent what the other person does. And one more thing that the what was what

this is about what total complete forgiveness is, is also to understand this is about forgiving understanding God, okay. There’s often the tendency isn’t there to blame God to say, God, why did you do this to me? Why did you allow bad things to happen to me? It is not, you know, we think that God is somehow responsible or allowing things to happen to us. And no matter what you think about,

about God, about a higher being in your life, we sometimes think you know, that the world is against me, this type of thing. Well, justice, okay, it just isn’t. And we need to let our bitterness go get better. This is where we sometimes resent God, resent the higher and resent the universe. And that’s just not going to do any good. So to be to have told the complete forgiveness in our life is not to compare ourselves to other people. see somebody, people are blessed by God. And I’m not. But I understand God’s ultimate will, for all of us is good things. And sometimes bad things do happen. Bitterness will eat us up in we can’t do that. And along the same lines is kind of a six thing kind of a bonus thing. Here’s this, forgive ourselves, you know, forgive ourselves. That simply means that sometimes if we’re going to have total complete forgiveness, we often blame ourselves, well, I should have did this we shouldn’t have done that I shouldn’t have, you know,

shouldn’t have been, you know, hurtful to this other person. We can, if we can forgive God, then we forgive ourselves and to you know, sometimes people think, you know, I think God forgives me, I can’t forgive myself for what I’ve done. Well, you know, we were the only ones who have control over ourselves, we can change if we choose to, part of what the whole a pathway to promise process about is that transformation can take place. But you can’t change yourself until you forgive yourself for your past hurts doesn’t mean you forget them. But it means you can change and you start to forgive yourself and you don’t live in the land or bitterness, you go to a journey of getting better. So that’s some things to share with you today. And the array of teaching about what we can do to have total complete forgiveness. And you can look the book total forgiveness by RT Kendall to give you a little more direction in this as well. But we know this is something that is so important our lives total and complete forgiveness. So the analysis so important, our life is our financial planning isn’t it. And we are so fortunate here the pathway to promise podcasts to have a great leader and financial planning and leadership and debt retirement and getting financial freedom in your life, and that Scott Mater from Christian stewardship coaching, and he is with us here today to talk about the importance of climbing the money mountain in our life of having a Sherpa or a financial guide. So let’s hear what Scott has to share with us right

Unknown 13:50
now with the pathway to promise podcasts.

Unknown 13:55
This point

Scott Maderer 14:00
prior to that plan began climbing the mountain making progress on your path to financial freedom. You’ve taken a moment and you’ve caught your breath plugged into a higher power, realize

Unknown 14:14

Scott Maderer 14:15
you are at the center of the universe, and God wants what’s best for you. Another thing to think about and realize is that nobody does this sort of thing alone, you have to find a guide, you have to find a Sherpa someone to to walk along beside you on the way up the mountain, you’ve got to find people that can speak into your life. And that can help guide you and can help provide advice, provide accountability, provide support, be a cheerleader, someone or someone’s who can be virtual mentors, or real life mentors. These people can come from all sorts of places to they don’t have to eat be in your hometown, they don’t even have to be someone you know, it could be a virtual mentor could come from a book or a podcast or something else. It could come from an older, wiser person, it could come from someone who you’ve identified who is successful with their money, it could come from a coach, someone that you hire to guide you along the path. It could come from a spouse for single people, especially, this is important to identify an accountability partner, not somebody to be your shopping buddy, not somebody to look at you and say, Yeah, why not buy two of those, but somebody to truly hold you accountable

for a spouse. accountability is not about nagging. It’s not about looking at somebody and saying, Why did you do that? or Why didn’t you do that. Remember, if you’ve got a plan and you’re married, you’ve got to be working together on that plan, you’ve got to be looking to go to the same place, you’ve got to bring your values together and make that why something that both of you are doing so that it doesn’t push one of you away from the other. Finding a coach, finding an accountability partner, finding a mentor, either in the real world, or through books, and podcast, identify people who have values that are similar to yours, identify people who have been successful with money, and listen to what they have to say,

this is about empowerment. This is about taking time to not just learn knowledge, but to change your spirit, change your heart, change your mind, realizing that mindset and behavior is Oh, so much more important than just the math.

If you’re paying off debt, and it takes you a long time to do it. It’s easy to tire out, it’s easy to start climbing that mountain, get halfway up and just run out of steam.

Having people around you who can look at you when you’re doing that and say, hey, look at how far you’ve come. Look at what you’ve done. Look at the success that you’ve had.

Keep going. You can do this. That’s important.

Sometimes it’s about knowledge. Sometimes it’s about plugging into somebody whether it’s a Dave Ramsey a Suzy Orman, somebody around who actually speaks about money in a way that resonates with you. But make sure that it’s somebody who’s actually good with money. Somebody who’s had some success with money, not just oh, I don’t know some broke buddy of yours who’s just as much money trouble as you are.

Instead, find those guides and those mentors who can speak success into your life. Because they’ve experienced that success at some level. Find those people who don’t beat you up, but lift you up,

find those people who can speak life into your money situation. That is an important step along this path. That is something that you must do if you want to really stick to it and have success.

This is something that lets you sustain the climbing of the mountain for a long time. This is what will help you along with plugging into the higher powers along with looking out for God, what God calls you to do. Having those people around you oftentimes speaks into your life, the voice of God speaks into your life, the calling that you have asked the people around you ask them, what are you supposed to be doing with your life, how, how is money holding you back,

ask them for help ask them what they did. To become successful with money

in a very real way. If you go out and do the things that other successful people do, you will find success. You’ve probably heard the statement that you are the sum of the five people that are closest to you. And in a very real way, that’s true. But you’ve got to find a way to surround yourself with people that have success if you want to have success. So the next step on this path is fine, that guide find somebody who can speak into your life and guide you

Unknown 20:13
on your path.

Brad Miller 20:19
made a promise podcast brought to you today by the book, The promise given life before today, way to overcome adversity and claim your promise, life of peace, prosperity, and purpose. We hope that you’ll go head on over to our website, pathway, slash 40 day way and get an excerpt of that book that will be helpful to you in your life. That’s our free gift to you. You’re the pathway to promise we’re all about being helpful to you. I’m Dr. Brad Miller, I’m here to be helpful to you and my teaching and my leadership, but it’s just really about you and I having a conversation really is kind of pretend like we are just having a conversation over a cup of coffee in your living room where we’re just having a walk together. And we’re just talking about things that matter things better, because, you know, we all have adversities to handle. We all have first needs to overcome. You know, whatever it is, you’ve gone through a painful divorce, you have a health issue, you have something going on your life with your spiritual life, you have something happening in your life, with your

deep in debt. We all got those things to overcome. But you know, we all want I believe we all want a life of peace, a life of the comfort of a peaceful life, that mental stability that comes with that emotional well being. We all want to have, you know, prosperity in our life. That is the freedom that comes with having everything we need in this life. You’ll physically and otherwise in order to have a sense of gratitude about what we do have an acceptance what we do have, and I believe we all want us it’s a purpose that gives us meaningfulness in life. And when we often have meaninglessness in our life and have a purpose and direction for our family, for our spiritual life for our career, to be productive person if the person has meaningful knows her life we’re here to help if we can, that’s what we’re all about here and the pathway to promise podcast so we hope you join us next time for Episode Number 32 of the pathway to promise or have a great author with us Joel comm is the author the fun factor and you’ll be talking about how it’s good to have fun in your life release a lot of things and that’s one of the great ways in order to have success in your life. So join us next time on the pathway to problems podcast with with Joel comm author of the fun factor. So until next time, friends. This is Dr. Brad Miller inviting you to continue to keep your promises because there’s power in a promise kept

thanks so much for taking the pathway to promise with Dr. Brad Miller as a subscriber, you’ll be a vital part of the pathway to promise community visit us on the web at pathway Until next time, remember to stay on your pathway to promise




The post PTP.031: Five Things Total Forgiveness IS!-Part 2 appeared first on The Forty Day Way w/ Dr Brad Miller.