193: Life Hacks To Overcome Conflict In Your Family and In Your Workplace With Dr. Jerry Fu
Dr. Jerry Fu is Dr. Brad Miller’s guest on Episode 193 of “The Beyond Adversity Podcast.”
He is a coach that focuses on conflict resolution and specializes in assisting Asian American leaders in dealing with issues in the business and in their personal lives.
Not only that, but he’s also a pharmacist by profession. Although, his passion is focused on assisting people in resolving conflict in their lives and living a more rewarding existence in many ways.
In this episode, Dr. Jerry shared with us his experience growing up in an Asian-American household and how he transformed into the leader he is today.
Being in a foreign country was a hard time for their family. They experienced racism, discrimination, and other unfair acts. However, their family chose to ignore all of these and just live their lives to the fullest.
Dr. Jerry had a lot of pressure growing up. Due to their family having a medical background, he is expected to take the same path as well. Initially, he was working as a pharmacist, but later on, he established Adapting Leaders which helps in dealing with both professional and personal issues.
He wasn’t born a leader. He only started taking up leadership roles right after his experience in a teaching position. This also helped him survive in the pharmacy industry.
This part of his life was also the reason why he established Adapting Leaders.
Episode 193 of The Beyond Adversity Podcast is a must-listen for those who are struggling in choosing what they want in life. This is also for those people who are looking for ways how to resolve conflicts in their professional and personal lives.
“The Beyond Adversity Podcast with Dr. Brad Miller is published weekly with the mission of helping people “Grow Through What They Go Through” as they navigate adversity and discover their promised life of peace, prosperity, and purpose.
Website: https://www.adaptingleaders.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jerry-e-fu-pharmd-acc-53710187/
Transcript
We have a great leader and coach with us today.
Dr. Brad Miller::His name is Dr. Jerry Fu from adaptingleaders.com.
Dr. Brad Miller::He is a conflict resolution coach, which helps people
Dr. Brad Miller::with to deal with conflicts in the workplace, and in
Dr. Brad Miller::their personal life with a special emphasis upon
Dr. Brad Miller::Asian American leaders. Dr. Jerry Fu, welcome to Beyond Adversity.
Dr. Jerry Fu::Hi, Dr. Brad.
Dr. Brad Miller::Awesome. So glad to have you with me today, Jerry.
Dr. Brad Miller::You got really an interesting take an interesting
Dr. Brad Miller::story to tell about your life. You come from an
Dr. Brad Miller::Asian American background, and that really is
Dr. Brad Miller::reflected in your story, especially at some of the
Dr. Brad Miller::conflicts that you had resolved in your life.
Dr. Brad Miller::When it comes to conflict resolution, coach in
Dr. Brad Miller::your own right. Tell us a little bit about your
Dr. Brad Miller::story. What led you to this line of work?
Dr. Jerry Fu::Yeah, absolutely. Um, yeah. So my parents
Dr. Jerry Fu::came over to the US from Taiwan for grad
Dr. Jerry Fu::school, and decided to chart their own course
Dr. Jerry Fu::coming here. I grew up with a healthcare
Dr. Jerry Fu::background. My grandpa was practicing in
Dr. Jerry Fu::Taiwan as a physician for over 50 years and
Dr. Jerry Fu::then uncles in health care. I grew up with two
Dr. Jerry Fu::cousins nearby, who both went to Harvard and
Dr. Jerry Fu::went to med schools. So well, you know, the bar
Dr. Jerry Fu::was set pretty high for that. So between the career
Dr. Jerry Fu::path in health care, which is kind of lined up for
Dr. Jerry Fu::me, along with just being very conflict averse,
Dr. Jerry Fu::and my family was just trying to mind their
Dr. Jerry Fu::own business, right? They're trying to create
Dr. Jerry Fu::a better life for themselves here. And despite
Dr. Jerry Fu::whatever racism or discrimination or unfair
Dr. Jerry Fu::circumstances, right, they just said, Hey, well,
Dr. Jerry Fu::you know, it's just not worth it, to fight them
Dr. Jerry Fu::back, we're just going to keep doing our best
Dr. Jerry Fu::to build our own lives within our own means.
Dr. Jerry Fu::And so, I grew up in a in a conflict averse home.
Dr. Jerry Fu::You know, my parents were always very gracious
Dr. Jerry Fu::hosts, whenever guests came over in any frustrations,
Dr. Jerry Fu::they had guests who were rude or inappropriate
Dr. Jerry Fu::that was just handled in house, they never would
Dr. Jerry Fu::have known better. And so this was what I saw
Dr. Jerry Fu::as model for me is how to deal with conflict, right?
Dr. Jerry Fu::You resent them for not meeting your standard,
Dr. Jerry Fu::even though you've never communicated that
Dr. Jerry Fu::standard to them. And then, you know, you just h
Dr. Jerry Fu::ope that you get over it, you know, with enough
Dr. Jerry Fu::time, and so it doesn't make for a good formula,
Dr. Jerry Fu::but you don't realize that until it's too late. All
Dr. Jerry Fu::right. And so, I grew up with this idea in mind.
Dr. Jerry Fu::And so you know, I managed to go honor my
Dr. Jerry Fu::parents desires for me to work hard and get
Dr. Jerry Fu::good grades and get into a good school. And
Dr. Jerry Fu::all of this was very short sighted for me,
Dr. Jerry Fu::because this is the immigrant's vision for
Dr. Jerry Fu::how to really establish yourself, right, get
Dr. Jerry Fu::good grades, get a profitable skill set,
Dr. Jerry Fu::where it doesn't matter what skin color
Dr. Jerry Fu::you are, people have to call you, doctor, right?
Dr. Jerry Fu::That's credibility and money that they need.
Dr. Jerry Fu::And so the idea is that somehow this is enough, right?
Dr. Jerry Fu::Hey, you know, get the job, get the credibility, get
Dr. Jerry Fu::the money, get married, pass along your family
Dr. Jerry Fu::name, this is the definition of success we want
Dr. Jerry Fu::you to follow. And so my attempts to fulfill this
Dr. Jerry Fu::plan took a hard right in college when I got to
Dr. Jerry Fu::see inorganic chemistry.
Dr. Brad Miller::That became a big deal, apparently, right?
Dr. Jerry Fu::Oh, yeah. I didn't know what to do with myself, right?
Dr. Jerry Fu::Because I, you know, I graduated top 10 in my high
Dr. Jerry Fu::school, and so I wasn't used to failure. And the few
Dr. Jerry Fu::failures that I did experience, like, he just felt so
Dr. Jerry Fu::embarrassed about him and just said, okay,
Dr. Jerry Fu::let this happen again. It wasn't failure, it wasn't
Dr. Jerry Fu::framed as an opportunity to learn and really
Dr. Jerry Fu::grow and improve in a way that you would
Dr. Jerry Fu::want to yourself. Rather, it was just something
Dr. Jerry Fu::as seen as a sign of incompetence, and just
Dr. Jerry Fu::brought embarrassment, right on your name
Dr. Jerry Fu::and your reputation and the family's name.
Dr. Jerry Fu::And so you had to pick a path that almost
Dr. Jerry Fu::would avoid this kind of embarrassment.
Dr. Jerry Fu::So for me getting waitlisted rejected from
Dr. Jerry Fu::med school, after all the expectations I
Dr. Jerry Fu::said, coming out of high school seemed
Dr. Jerry Fu::insurmountable to me, right? When you
Dr. Jerry Fu::don't know any better, you're just afraid
Dr. Jerry Fu::of embarrassment and shame. And so I
Dr. Jerry Fu::said, well, I need to pivot. I want to do
Dr. Jerry Fu::something in healthcare, but what else
Dr. Jerry Fu::is available to me? And so I said, Well,
Dr. Jerry Fu::pharmacy seems pretty reasonable. Let
Dr. Jerry Fu::me pursue a degree in pharmacy and a
Dr. Jerry Fu::career in pharmacy. And so I convinced
Dr. Jerry Fu::pharmacy school that I would make a
Dr. Jerry Fu::good pharmacist. And next thing you know,
Dr. Jerry Fu::I am starting my pharmacy school journey.
Dr. Jerry Fu::I get through that without a lot of hitches, thankfully.
Dr. Jerry Fu::But, you know, I came to another crossroads
Dr. Jerry Fu::when I was about to graduate because my
Dr. Jerry Fu::mom was very particular about me working
Dr. Jerry Fu::for a company that she really liked. Even
Dr. Jerry Fu::though she'd never worked a day in her life
Dr. Jerry Fu::in pharmacy. See Moms always know best, right?
Dr. Brad Miller::Of course, of course.
Dr. Jerry Fu::So you know, this on top of the fact that I was
Dr. Jerry Fu::very now is even more conflict averse than ever,
Dr. Jerry Fu::because I just wasn't in the mood to deal with it
Dr. Jerry Fu::at all. Every time someone leaned in to be upset
Dr. Jerry Fu::with me, I would just take the path of least resistance.
Dr. Jerry Fu::And so in this case with my mom, I just wasn't in
Dr. Jerry Fu::the mood. I didn't have the energy to deal with
Dr. Jerry Fu::her insistence on the past, she felt it was best for
Dr. Jerry Fu::me. So I ended up taking this job, regretted it
Dr. Jerry Fu::within the first two or three months of really
Dr. Jerry Fu::starting with them. And you know, she also
Dr. Jerry Fu::had a girl lined up and tried to push me
Dr. Jerry Fu::toward her. And so
Dr. Brad Miller::Oh, really? So she lined up your job
Dr. Brad Miller::and your girlfriend is that
Dr. Jerry Fu::Yeah, absolutely. Right.
Dr. Jerry Fu::This is how this is how they want to rescue
Dr. Jerry Fu::us, right? Because it's like, well, if life isn't going,
Dr. Brad Miller::Just culturally, is this pretty common in Asian
Dr. Brad Miller::American experience? I'm just asking.
Dr. Jerry Fu::Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, parents are always
Dr. Jerry Fu::going to be your parents, right? And so the
Dr. Jerry Fu::ones who understand hey, like, it's not
Dr. Jerry Fu::typical for parents to just say, Okay, you're 18.
Dr. Jerry Fu::Stand on your two feet. Good luck, right?
Dr. Jerry Fu::They don't do that. It's like, they want to
Dr. Jerry Fu::take care of you, but it's like, there's strings
Dr. Jerry Fu::attached pretty much on everything that
Dr. Jerry Fu::they give you. And so, yeah, you know, so
Dr. Jerry Fu::yeah, had the girl lined up had the job that
Dr. Jerry Fu::she thought I should be more grateful for
Dr. Jerry Fu::and more concerned with. And I, one point
Dr. Jerry Fu::actually was okay with job. Actually, the girl
Dr. Jerry Fu::moved on, because she just realized that I
Dr. Jerry Fu::wasn't going to move forward. And I'm
Dr. Jerry Fu::thankful that she didn't wait too long for
Dr. Jerry Fu::me to realize that this wasn't. But the job,
Dr. Jerry Fu::at one point, actually had a job that gave
Dr. Jerry Fu::me flexible scheduling and the quality of
Dr. Jerry Fu::life that I was looking for. And so I got
Dr. Jerry Fu::complacent because I knew number one,
Dr. Jerry Fu::how rare this was. So I was afraid to leave
Dr. Jerry Fu::it. Because I was like, Well, you know, in
Dr. Jerry Fu::chain pharmacy, you don't get a lot of
Dr. Jerry Fu::good pharmacy jobs that would be long
Dr. Jerry Fu::term. So I better hang on to this and make
Dr. Jerry Fu::the most of this. Wish I made sleep, I mainly
Dr. Jerry Fu::did, I was living at home. I used the money,
Dr. Jerry Fu::I didn't have to pay rent. So I just use the money
Dr. Jerry Fu::on trips and things like that. That was nice for a
Dr. Jerry Fu::while. But when that went away, when I
Dr. Jerry Fu::transferred stores, I was unhappy again,
Dr. Jerry Fu::because I didn't have the flexibility in scheduling
Dr. Jerry Fu::to do what I wanted. And so after a customer
Dr. Jerry Fu::service incident that just really left me reeling.
Dr. Jerry Fu::I did my best to put out the fire with someone
Dr. Jerry Fu::who's very upset, you know, ran out of nice
Dr. Jerry Fu::things to say. And then even worse, my
Dr. Jerry Fu::partner gives me the stink eye because
Dr. Jerry Fu::she felt like I didn't handle it nearly as
Dr. Jerry Fu::professionally as she thought it could have.
Dr. Jerry Fu::And I just said, oh my goodness, I have to
Dr. Jerry Fu::do something else. Like I have to get out
Dr. Jerry Fu::of this job. Like it didn't matter. They just
Dr. Jerry Fu::earned a third week of vacation. I just
Dr. Jerry Fu::needed to get out. And so I wanted to get
Dr. Jerry Fu::into teaching pharmacy students but
Dr. Jerry Fu::didn't have a PhD, didn't have a
Dr. Jerry Fu::residency for a conventional academic job.
Dr. Jerry Fu::But a friend of mine who work for a
Dr. Jerry Fu::consulting company here in Houston,
Dr. Jerry Fu::pharmacy consulting company said, hey,
Dr. Jerry Fu::my previous teaching position is open
Dr. Jerry Fu::says I got promoted. Would you like to
Dr. Jerry Fu::apply for it? I said, Absolutely. So now
Dr. Jerry Fu::I am interviewing for this job. I convinced
Dr. Jerry Fu::them at work taking the chance on so now
Dr. Jerry Fu::I'm leaving a full time job with benefits to
Dr. Jerry Fu::take on a part time job. You know, moving
Dr. Jerry Fu::from Tennessee, where I was living at
Dr. Jerry Fu::the time to Houston to take on this new
Dr. Jerry Fu::challenge. And of course, my mom, just
Dr. Jerry Fu::all of a sudden, she doesn't know anything
Dr. Jerry Fu::about this new company. She doesn't know
Dr. Jerry Fu::anything about living setup, anything like that.
Dr. Jerry Fu::I'm not under her watchful eye.
Dr. Brad Miller::And so you're moving away from home as well.
Dr. Jerry Fu::Exactly. Yeah, like now I'm now I'm a plane
Dr. Jerry Fu::flight away, right. And so, initially, I thought
Dr. Jerry Fu::okay, right in my short sightedness, oh, just
Dr. Jerry Fu::get into college. Okay, just get into pharmacy
Dr. Jerry Fu::school. Okay, just get another job, right. And
Dr. Jerry Fu::initially, the first couple of months were great.
Dr. Jerry Fu::Novelty was there I was more excited, I felt
Dr. Jerry Fu::more alive in my job. But 11 months later, I got fired.
Dr. Jerry Fu::And that was like, was really tough for me. It was
Dr. Jerry Fu::one of the best things that ever happened to me,
Dr. Jerry Fu::but I didn't appreciate it at the time. And I'll be
Dr. Jerry Fu::happy to elaborate on that later. But, you know,
Dr. Jerry Fu::What do I do with myself, right? I'm just used to
Dr. Jerry Fu::the shame of failure. I'm used to saying, Oh, my
Dr. Jerry Fu::goodness, like all my friends are gonna have all
Dr. Jerry Fu::these questions about why I lost this job with this
Dr. Jerry Fu::great company that they all envied me for so long.
Dr. Jerry Fu::And now, you know, I can't even move back home,
Dr. Jerry Fu::the job market has become much more saturated.
Dr. Jerry Fu::I can't even move home to take on my previous
Dr. Jerry Fu::position it feels. So that's when the roller coaster
Dr. Jerry Fu::continue to take some really weird turns. I ended
Dr. Jerry Fu::up at a independent pharmacy where for my
Dr. Jerry Fu::paychecks, bouts filling for crooked doctors,
Dr. Jerry Fu::so I was jeopardizing my license, and this guy was paying for it.
Dr. Brad Miller::So you had some family stuff going on your
Dr. Brad Miller::work related stuff, and you end up with some
Dr. Brad Miller::financial related stuff if your paychecks were
Dr. Brad Miller::bouncing. Yeah, that's right. And several
Dr. Brad Miller::things were happening here.
Dr. Jerry Fu::Yeah. And what do I do with this conflict?
Dr. Jerry Fu::Right. And the other wrinkle it talks about
Dr. Jerry Fu::conflict aversion and just how toxic it is right?
Dr. Jerry Fu::I didn't even have a local bank account,
Dr. Jerry Fu::like I just was mailing checks home. And so
Dr. Jerry Fu::when the first check bounced, you know, my
Dr. Jerry Fu::boss actually called me and told me Hey,
Dr. Jerry Fu::sorry about this something happened. But
Dr. Jerry Fu::we'll make it up. And I said, Okay, that's fine.
Dr. Jerry Fu::You know, things happen fine once. Sure.
Dr. Jerry Fu::Then the second, third and fourth checks
Dr. Jerry Fu::bounced, but I had no idea because I was
Dr. Jerry Fu::mailing him home. And my mom was too
Dr. Jerry Fu::afraid to tell me that this was happening. And
Dr. Jerry Fu::it's like, Mom, this is not good, right? I'm
Dr. Jerry Fu::tithing, right with money. I don't actually
Dr. Jerry Fu::have right, this is a problem. And I don't
Dr. Jerry Fu::know that I don't have this unless you tell
Dr. Jerry Fu::me bad news. Right? Yeah. You can't be
Dr. Jerry Fu::scared to say things.
Dr. Brad Miller::Protecting you from yourself, so to speak, right?
Dr. Jerry Fu::In a way, yeah. And so, you know that was
Dr. Jerry Fu::the wake up call, just hey, you know, there's
Dr. Jerry Fu::some pretty harsh people out there. Not
Dr. Jerry Fu::everybody is harsh, but you got to look out
Dr. Jerry Fu::for the ones you have to have some better
Dr. Jerry Fu::warning signs, right. So in my misguided view
Dr. Jerry Fu::of Grace, I'm just like, well, you know, I'm
Dr. Jerry Fu::going to honor my part, even if he doesn't.
Dr. Jerry Fu::And everyone's telling me, you need to leave.
Dr. Jerry Fu::You can't even pay your bills, unless he pays you.
Dr. Jerry Fu::So after nine months of that unproductive cycle,
Dr. Jerry Fu::my friends, get me on with another company,
Dr. Jerry Fu::that's more legit. But money is tight, and they
Dr. Jerry Fu::can't pay me more than eight hours a week.
Dr. Jerry Fu::So I moved out to Austin to get more hours
Dr. Jerry Fu::at another store. And you know, this is two
Dr. Jerry Fu::and a half hours away from Houston, it
Dr. Jerry Fu::could end up in worse places. But, you know,
Dr. Jerry Fu::it just wasn't home. And I had no idea what
Dr. Jerry Fu::my life was, like at this point. And so that
Dr. Jerry Fu::summer was key, because some friends of
Dr. Jerry Fu::mine who run a pharmacy leadership
Dr. Jerry Fu::nonprofit, said, Hey, we have a facilitative
Dr. Jerry Fu::position that opened up. And we know
Dr. Jerry Fu::you've been facilitating workshops on the
Dr. Jerry Fu::fraternity side, but would you like to step in
Dr. Jerry Fu::for leadership teaching role? Absolutely.
Dr. Jerry Fu::And so teaching leadership kind of helped
Dr. Jerry Fu::me change my thinking around leadership,
Dr. Jerry Fu::because before I just said, wow, leadership
Dr. Jerry Fu::is hard and haven't been good at it. So I
Dr. Jerry Fu::don't know if I'll ever be good at it. And
Dr. Jerry Fu::just this very pessimistic view. And again,
Dr. Jerry Fu::I don't want to
Dr. Brad Miller::so your friends help you make a shift
Dr. Brad Miller::then to teaching as a pivot point from
Dr. Brad Miller::being working at the store, just kind of
Dr. Brad Miller::just a regular pharmacist dispensing
Dr. Brad Miller::pharmaceutical goods, I assume, and
Dr. Brad Miller::then to now teaching leadership.
Dr. Jerry Fu::This was yeah, that was that was a plant.
Dr. Jerry Fu::Yeah, this is the seeds were planted, like
Dr. Jerry Fu::I still needed pharmacy work, because
Dr. Jerry Fu::you know, that was was immediately
Dr. Jerry Fu::available to, you know, teaching leadership.
Dr. Jerry Fu::Yeah, gave me the confidence to start asking
Dr. Jerry Fu::myself, well, what if I could be a good leader?
Dr. Jerry Fu::You know what, I love that possibility. And you
Dr. Jerry Fu::know, how I carry myself, I'll work with that
Dr. Jerry Fu::involved. So when a full time position in
Dr. Jerry Fu::Houston opened up later that fall, I said,
Dr. Jerry Fu::I'm not going to stay scared. I can't afford
Dr. Jerry Fu::to miss this opportunity. So I want to come home.
Dr. Jerry Fu::Let me do let me do this. Yeah, proceed to get
Dr. Jerry Fu::written up the following year, because I had
Dr. Jerry Fu::problematic technicians, I was not disciplining
Dr. Jerry Fu::or firing. And so management says, Okay, that
Dr. Jerry Fu::is a problem. And you're passivity is also a
Dr. Jerry Fu::problem. And so as I'm in the middle of my
Dr. Jerry Fu::probationary period, the company has their
Dr. Jerry Fu::funding pulled. And so I'm just wondering,
Dr. Jerry Fu::well, what do I do next?
Dr. Brad Miller::That does mean your teaching position
Dr. Brad Miller::went away as well?
Dr. Jerry Fu::Well, the consulting job was already
Dr. Jerry Fu::gone for a while. The teaching seminar
Dr. Jerry Fu::was just for the summer. It wasn't a full time job. So
Dr. Brad Miller::okay.
Dr. Jerry Fu::Yeah, but it was a good opportunity,
Dr. Jerry Fu::because that's what planted the seed
Dr. Jerry Fu::to save my pharmacy career. Because
Dr. Jerry Fu::the only reason I had pharmacy jobs after
Dr. Jerry Fu::that was that I took on more positions that
Dr. Jerry Fu::involve leadership. And so the jobs were
Dr. Jerry Fu::more plentiful, but they also were temporary.
Dr. Jerry Fu::The business models weren't sustainable for
Dr. Jerry Fu::the jobs that I was landing. And so after my
Dr. Jerry Fu::previous job went under four years ago, I said,
Dr. Jerry Fu::Well, you know, I'm tired of chasing scripts
Dr. Jerry Fu::and tired of fighting insurance companies
Dr. Jerry Fu::for reimbursements. But I love teaching
Dr. Jerry Fu::leadership workshops, you know, which
Dr. Jerry Fu::I consistently done every other summer
Dr. Jerry Fu::since the first time. And I said, What if I
Dr. Jerry Fu::had a career in coaching? What if I had
Dr. Jerry Fu::career facilitating workshops like this?
Dr. Jerry Fu::Because I know how much I loved
Dr. Brad Miller::That led you eventually to creating
Dr. Brad Miller::your company adaptingleaders.com,
Dr. Brad Miller::which is leadership training and coaching?
Dr. Brad Miller::Is that correct?
Dr. Jerry Fu::Basically, yeah, it took a while because I
Dr. Jerry Fu::declared myself as a coach in 2017. But
Dr. Jerry Fu::I didn't start my LLC until 2020. Because
Dr. Jerry Fu::I was still so afraid of failure and rejection.
Dr. Jerry Fu::And you know, when the pandemic hit, so
Dr. Jerry Fu::I tell people, it's like a pandemic for me to
Dr. Jerry Fu::wake up and say, Okay, how much longer can I put this off?
Dr. Brad Miller::Yeah.
Dr. Jerry Fu::And so yeah, it's still try circle fail.
Dr. Brad Miller::So you've heard these, what I'm trying
Dr. Brad Miller::to get at here with your, you've had
Dr. Brad Miller::these crisis moments. You've had crisis
Dr. Brad Miller::moments in your family.
Dr. Jerry Fu::Yes.
Dr. Brad Miller::Whether you may have even
Dr. Brad Miller::acknowledged him as crises at
Dr. Brad Miller::the time but they were you in
Dr. Brad Miller::crisis moments in your career.
Dr. Brad Miller::You have crisis moments in your finances.
Dr. Brad Miller::Your pivotal or crisis moments in your
Dr. Brad Miller::living arrangements. You moving here to
Dr. Brad Miller::there, and then, but the big crisis, that
Dr. Brad Miller::kind of major changes sound like was
Dr. Brad Miller::the pandemic and that's kind of been
Dr. Brad Miller::a pivotal point for you. So let's talk about
Dr. Brad Miller::some of the pivotal points to cause you
Dr. Brad Miller::then to do something about it. You had
Dr. Brad Miller::these pain all along, but you did something
Dr. Brad Miller::about it. So what are some of the actions
Dr. Brad Miller::that you took and maybe you advocate
Dr. Brad Miller::others take to begin to, you know, do
Dr. Brad Miller::something about to resolve these conflicts
Dr. Brad Miller::that you had? What are you gonna do
Dr. Brad Miller::about it? So what did you do about it?
Dr. Brad Miller::And maybe what are some of the lists
Dr. Brad Miller::some transferable principles?
Dr. Jerry Fu::Yeah, great question. My problems are not new.
Dr. Jerry Fu::They are unique to me and yet they are not new, right?
Dr. Jerry Fu::There's people that are a little further along in the
Dr. Jerry Fu::leadership path that have probably seen the problem.
Dr. Jerry Fu::So that dealt with. And so the first thing is
Dr. Jerry Fu::just to ask for help, right? Whether you find
Dr. Jerry Fu::the book on Amazon, like the four conversations,
Dr. Jerry Fu::which helps with dealing with conflicts and
Dr. Jerry Fu::broken expectations in organizations, that
Dr. Jerry Fu::was a book that a friend had pointed out
Dr. Jerry Fu::to me, in terms of, you know, what are
Dr. Jerry Fu::some resources out there? Right. And
Dr. Jerry Fu::so when you're able to study success, that
Dr. Jerry Fu::you haven't been able to picture for
Dr. Jerry Fu::yourself? And you say, Okay, how did they
Dr. Jerry Fu::do it? Right? That was one step. Right? The
Dr. Jerry Fu::first is just to go out there and learn
Dr. Jerry Fu::something from either a book or a person
Dr. Jerry Fu::you respect, right, that has experienced that
Dr. Jerry Fu::you're looking for? Yes. And then the second,
Dr. Jerry Fu::though, is to put yourself in situations where
Dr. Jerry Fu::you have no choice but to apply these principles.
Dr. Jerry Fu::And because you could do it one of two ways.
Dr. Jerry Fu::One is just to ask your friends to hold you
Dr. Jerry Fu::accountable. Hey, you know, I'm about
Dr. Jerry Fu::to take on this challenge. Can you be sure
Dr. Jerry Fu::I actually follow through with what I'm
Dr. Jerry Fu::going to do? You know, that's helpful.
Dr. Jerry Fu::But I'll give one situation quick where,
Dr. Jerry Fu::you know, yeah, I had no choice but to
Dr. Jerry Fu::gauge. At one point, I served as a church
Dr. Jerry Fu::class director at a church I was going to
Dr. Jerry Fu::here in Houston. And my second day, as
Dr. Jerry Fu::Director, I find out that a newer guy
Dr. Jerry Fu::in the class was sexually harassing
Dr. Jerry Fu::women in the class. And they tell
Dr. Jerry Fu::me, Hey, Jerry, you're director, you
Dr. Jerry Fu::got to handle it. It's like, he didn't
Dr. Jerry Fu::give me a manual. They're just like,
Dr. Jerry Fu::just handle it. Just figure it out. It's like,
Dr. Jerry Fu::okay, well, I gotta run toward the gunfire.
Dr. Jerry Fu::And so when I, when I know that
Dr. Jerry Fu::avoidance is unacceptable, in this
Dr. Jerry Fu::case, you know, if I didn't do anything,
Dr. Jerry Fu::he was probably just gonna keep doing
Dr. Jerry Fu::what he's doing. Right? Because no one's
Dr. Jerry Fu::calling him out on it. So yeah, the second
Dr. Jerry Fu::is just kind of take on challenges like this.
Dr. Jerry Fu::And whether it's at work or personal take
Dr. Jerry Fu::on challenges where you realize, hey, this
Dr. Jerry Fu::is we're gonna work on.
Dr. Brad Miller::Sometimes I've heard that phrase.
Dr. Brad Miller::And you may forget the how the story
Dr. Brad Miller::goes, but about the explorers who
Dr. Brad Miller::came to America and the Explorer,
Dr. Brad Miller::burned the ships behind him. So that
Dr. Brad Miller::the, they couldn't get back to Europe
Dr. Brad Miller::or whatever, you know, brass ships,
Dr. Brad Miller::because you hadn't had to deal with
Dr. Brad Miller::the situation at hand. So good. But good.
Dr. Brad Miller::Go on, please. So you, you asked for help. You put
Dr. Brad Miller::yourself in these. You had no choice but to
Dr. Brad Miller::deal with the conflict. See, like, there's one
Dr. Brad Miller::more thing you at least want to say about that?
Dr. Jerry Fu::Yeah, yeah, sure. I mean, the key is afterward, right?
Dr. Jerry Fu::It's one thing to just charge ahead. It's another to
Dr. Jerry Fu::like you didn't even did you even evaluate the situation?
Dr. Jerry Fu::Right? Because if you didn't, right, like, how much
Dr. Jerry Fu::value is that to you? Right, John Maxwell?
Dr. Jerry Fu::The grandfather of all leadership gurus, right.
Dr. Jerry Fu::He said, you know, experience is not enough
Dr. Jerry Fu::evaluating experience is, you know, is the key
Dr. Jerry Fu::to really growing right, Hey, what did I take
Dr. Jerry Fu::away from this? You know, when I dealt
Dr. Jerry Fu::with this guy, you know, what did I?
Dr. Jerry Fu::How would I change my approach
Dr. Jerry Fu::afterward? Right? How would I adjust things,
Dr. Brad Miller::That's awesome. So now you've got some
Dr. Brad Miller::tools to work with. You got some tools to
Dr. Brad Miller::work with and conflict resolution, you know,
Dr. Brad Miller::ask for help learn, gather information, and
Dr. Brad Miller::you apply it by putting yourself into those
Dr. Brad Miller::positions. Or sometimes we find ourselves
Dr. Brad Miller::in those positions, once we have become
Dr. Brad Miller::aware, but this we've stopped the avoidance
Dr. Brad Miller::of yes situations in order to deal with the
Dr. Brad Miller::present pain upfront, rather than to have
Dr. Brad Miller::some benefit on the back end, and then
Dr. Brad Miller::evaluate in order to do something about it.
Dr. Brad Miller::And so that's what I like to think about top
Dr. Brad Miller::is how we need to kind of physically, in a
Dr. Brad Miller::way, change our posture on how we deal
Dr. Brad Miller::with adversity. And that's part of what
Dr. Brad Miller::we're about here. And a lot of people have
Dr. Brad Miller::had that the last year or two with the pandemic
Dr. Brad Miller::has forced people to change their posture, their
Dr. Brad Miller::pivot, and you do what you got to do you know,
Dr. Brad Miller::that those that those those points, you know,
Dr. Brad Miller::we've heard about the you've heard the term
Dr. Brad Miller::the great resignation, I'm sure. People then
Dr. Brad Miller::have found that once they changed, it was
Dr. Brad Miller::one quite so bad. They kind of liked it, that
Dr. Brad Miller::type of thing. Let's go to the inner life a
Dr. Brad Miller::little bit. You touched on it just a little bit
Dr. Brad Miller::and you said you're involved with the
Dr. Brad Miller::church and some things like that. I'm
Dr. Brad Miller::interested now Jerry, is any part that played
Dr. Brad Miller::in your transformation, your personal
Dr. Brad Miller::transformation, would you teach others
Dr. Brad Miller::that has to do with the inner life. I'm talking
Dr. Brad Miller::about a connection to some sensibility that's
Dr. Brad Miller::higher than yourself and I don't really mean
Dr. Brad Miller::your mother here that you know, I mean, like
Dr. Brad Miller::a spiritual thing or maybe meditative thing or
Dr. Brad Miller::just a drive to, you know, to improve self. Tell
Dr. Brad Miller::me about any connection to the inner life
Dr. Brad Miller::that was a part of this transformation
Dr. Brad Miller::process for you.
Dr. Jerry Fu::Yeah, sure. Um, I think, one path that
Dr. Jerry Fu::really helped give me perspective
Dr. Jerry Fu::anyway, on what this faith life was
Dr. Jerry Fu::really about this when actually it
Dr. Jerry Fu::was a late at a later stages of burnout
Dr. Jerry Fu::while I was serving as director of this
Dr. Jerry Fu::church class. And during that phase,
Dr. Jerry Fu::where I was just discouraged, and I just
Dr. Jerry Fu::said, Well, you know, I need a shot in the
Dr. Jerry Fu::arm, you know, where do I go to kind of sit
Dr. Jerry Fu::and receive and recharge, right? And so
Dr. Jerry Fu::they happen to be a former missionary that
Dr. Jerry Fu::started the fellowship at this church
Dr. Jerry Fu::that can go into slits, like this internal
Dr. Jerry Fu::supplements. And, you know, he was
Dr. Jerry Fu::very good about asking questions about,
Dr. Jerry Fu::you know, Bible, and just, you know, what
Dr. Jerry Fu::it really means to live up faith. And so to
Dr. Jerry Fu::have his perspective, and to make me
Dr. Jerry Fu::curious, again, about what is this really
Dr. Jerry Fu::about, and then I actually went to Beirut,
Dr. Jerry Fu::with a nonprofit of Arabic Christian doctors,
Dr. Jerry Fu::and see, see these practitioners do work in
Dr. Jerry Fu::dangerous parts of the world, like damascus,
Dr. Jerry Fu::or mozal. And to see just how patient and
Dr. Jerry Fu::persistent and gentle they were, made
Dr. Jerry Fu::me realize that all the problems that I
Dr. Jerry Fu::was dealing with, as a director were not
Dr. Jerry Fu::about me, there's just a much bigger
Dr. Jerry Fu::picture, a much grander scheme at
Dr. Jerry Fu::play, when it comes to building relationships
Dr. Jerry Fu::and loving people who may not love you
Dr. Jerry Fu::back the way you'd hoped.
Dr. Brad Miller::And hopefully, that gave you a little deeper
Dr. Brad Miller::motivation for change, then not based on
Dr. Brad Miller::the present. situation, you know, having a
Dr. Brad Miller::paycheck, pleasing mom, or, you know,
Dr. Brad Miller::getting along and, you know, all that kind
Dr. Brad Miller::of thing, you have a little bigger motivation
Dr. Brad Miller::and motivation greater than itself. And
Dr. Brad Miller::I'm just wondering, I really think Jerry, that's
Dr. Brad Miller::important part of you're gonna have true
Dr. Brad Miller::transformation. It's got to be physical, and it
Dr. Brad Miller::also has to be spiritual. And in our life. I also
Dr. Brad Miller::think it also has to be cognitive with,
Dr. Brad Miller::you know, change our actual ways
Dr. Brad Miller::change what we think, our mindset,
Dr. Brad Miller::how we actually do things. And I'm
Dr. Brad Miller::talking now about new habits or new
Dr. Brad Miller::practices or new ways of doing life that
Dr. Brad Miller::may be different than what you were
Dr. Brad Miller::before. It seems like before you were
Dr. Brad Miller::in the people pleasing thing and this type
Dr. Brad Miller::of thing. And maybe you had some things
Dr. Brad Miller::here, what are some things you do? Maybe
Dr. Brad Miller::you do now? Or maybe teach now, that may
Dr. Brad Miller::be different than what you had before? What
Dr. Brad Miller::habits practices things like this?
Dr. Jerry Fu::Yeah, yeah. This one is pretty simple.
Dr. Jerry Fu::But it's also very profound. And I'll give an example with it
Dr. Jerry Fu::after I stated, one question to ask yourself is when an
Dr. Jerry Fu::opportunity becomes up to to something like an
Dr. Jerry Fu::activity on a Saturday afternoon or something
Dr. Jerry Fu::like that, right, you ask yourself, well, what else
Dr. Jerry Fu::could I do? What else could I be doing with this
Dr. Jerry Fu::time? Right. And so I'll give a personal example,
Dr. Jerry Fu::where at one point, I was volunteering to help
Dr. Jerry Fu::out with an elementary school math competition.
Dr. Jerry Fu::And this was like, on a Saturday morning, and I
Dr. Jerry Fu::had a lot of fun doing it. Right? It was it was
Dr. Jerry Fu::meaningful, it was great. And, you know,
Dr. Jerry Fu::after the next year rolled around, and
Dr. Jerry Fu::they asked for people to volunteer again,
Dr. Jerry Fu::I had to ask myself, well, what else could
Dr. Jerry Fu::I be doing with that time? You know, and I
Dr. Jerry Fu::thought, well, I could be sleeping and you
Dr. Jerry Fu::know, recovering from sleep, you know, get sleep,
Dr. Jerry Fu::I could be reading my book, that I you know,
Dr. Jerry Fu::that it really wants to finish. And I realized
Dr. Jerry Fu::that, you know, if I had to choose between
Dr. Jerry Fu::the competition and reading a book, and
Dr. Jerry Fu::recovering and just taking it take having a
Dr. Jerry Fu::more restful morning, I realized that was
Dr. Jerry Fu::the more important thing. And so, you
Dr. Jerry Fu::know, it was tough to say no, right? To
Dr. Jerry Fu::put something I enjoy so much. But
Dr. Jerry Fu::then I realized that there's a bigger game
Dr. Jerry Fu::that are bigger fish to fry, right? There's
Dr. Jerry Fu::something more important at hand, and
Dr. Jerry Fu::just feeling good about myself or volunteering missing kids.
Dr. Brad Miller::So you did the volunteering piece,
Dr. Brad Miller::but you then also choose the physical
Dr. Brad Miller::health part of your rest, and you're so
Dr. Brad Miller::you did some things to renew self, but
Dr. Brad Miller::a part of renewing self. Some of it was
Dr. Brad Miller::the volunteers and that type of thing
Dr. Brad Miller::was also so it was the renewal of self
Dr. Brad Miller::for what you were working on there.
Dr. Brad Miller::So that's awesome. Another aspect I
Dr. Brad Miller::believe Jerry of personal transformation.
Dr. Brad Miller::You know, we talk a lot about that cognitive,
Dr. Brad Miller::the mental health side of things, is the
Dr. Brad Miller::emotional aspect that goes to relationships.
Dr. Brad Miller::You've mentioned a little bit about some
Dr. Brad Miller::people gave you some books and some
Dr. Brad Miller::things like this are pointing in a different
Dr. Brad Miller::direction. You mentioned some mentor
Dr. Brad Miller::type folks. Tell me a little bit about emotional
Dr. Brad Miller::relationships. You mentioned some ones that
Dr. Brad Miller::were a little bit problematic, you know, your
Dr. Brad Miller::family, that kind of thing. Tell me about some
Dr. Brad Miller::emotional relations. Have some may have
Dr. Brad Miller::been helpful to you moving forward in terms
Dr. Brad Miller::of his transformation, you know, friendships,
Dr. Brad Miller::mentors, family. Be part of that the emotional
Dr. Jerry Fu::Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I think 1 person
Dr. Jerry Fu::that was key in this leadership transformation
Dr. Jerry Fu::is a pharmacist named Michael Negretti. And
Dr. Jerry Fu::I will sing his praises till the day I die. Because
Dr. Jerry Fu::I, when I first co facilitated the leadership
Dr. Jerry Fu::material, he was the one I was paired up
Dr. Jerry Fu::with now already liked him, you know, I
Dr. Jerry Fu::knew him as a, you know, as a guy respected,
Dr. Jerry Fu::but to work with him up close. And to
Dr. Jerry Fu::see just how he brought out the best in me and
Dr. Jerry Fu::training me up and equipping me and giving
Dr. Jerry Fu::me the confidence to pull my weight and run
Dr. Jerry Fu::through walls for him. I asked myself right
Dr. Jerry Fu::after I worked with him, so you know, what
Dr. Jerry Fu::exactly was it about his style or his personality
Dr. Jerry Fu::that really motivated me? Well, because that
Dr. Jerry Fu::was the first time in a long time that I felt like
Dr. Jerry Fu::someone like joyfully motivated needed to
Dr. Jerry Fu::move forward and do some. It was difficult
Dr. Jerry Fu::work and yet, it was very rewarding. And
Dr. Jerry Fu::so the things that came up with after, you know,
Dr. Jerry Fu::thinking about this some more, whereas to
Dr. Jerry Fu::number one, Mike is fun to be around. He's
Dr. Jerry Fu::just a pleasant guy. He doesn't crack the
Dr. Jerry Fu::whip. He's just fun to be around. Number two,
Dr. Jerry Fu::he's fun to learn from. And you know, he's
Dr. Jerry Fu::always reading some new book, he's always
Dr. Jerry Fu::learning something interesting. And he just
Dr. Jerry Fu::wants to see, well, Michael, you know, what
Dr. Jerry Fu::are you learning now? Third, he's a relentless
Dr. Jerry Fu::worker, he sets the tone, there's no question
Dr. Jerry Fu::about how hard he works. Number four, he's
Dr. Jerry Fu::always tinkering. Like, he's always thinking,
Dr. Jerry Fu::How can this be better? How can this be
Dr. Jerry Fu::better? How can we rearrange this? You
Dr. Jerry Fu::know, what could What do you think?
Dr. Jerry Fu::Can we try with this? And then number five,
Dr. Jerry Fu::he's very collaborative. He says, hey, you
Dr. Jerry Fu::know, I reshuffled the lineup, what do you
Dr. Jerry Fu::think of this, Jerry? And then I'd say, Well, you
Dr. Jerry Fu::know, I think this and that are, you know, wow.
Dr. Jerry Fu::And I just want to keep up with what he was doing.
Dr. Jerry Fu::And so that's a relationship, it's we stopped a
Dr. Jerry Fu::friendship to this day, you know, we're both
Dr. Jerry Fu::busy with things. But every time there's an
Dr. Jerry Fu::opportunity to work with them, I never turn
Dr. Jerry Fu::it down. Because I know that I'm always going to,
Dr. Jerry Fu::I love giving and supporting to him. But also, I
Dr. Jerry Fu::know that I'm also it's a mutualistic beneficiary of the
Dr. Brad Miller::Sound like part of what you learned from him,
Dr. Brad Miller::from your mentor here. From your friend has
Dr. Brad Miller::been also a part of the process now that you
Dr. Brad Miller::choose to try to be helpful to other people,
Dr. Brad Miller::you've got a coaching program called
Dr. Brad Miller::adapting leaders, and among the things
Dr. Brad Miller::you talk about, is how to deal how people
Dr. Brad Miller::deal with a temperamental boss or a stale
Dr. Brad Miller::friendship, or family expectations. So things
Dr. Brad Miller::we've touched on here. So you've been
Dr. Brad Miller::motivated to create this coaching program,
Dr. Brad Miller::and you have some interesting insights on
Dr. Brad Miller::your website, at adapting leaders calm.
Dr. Brad Miller::But tell me a little bit about what motivated
Dr. Brad Miller::you to do this coaching program? And what
Dr. Brad Miller::are people going to find If they go to your
Dr. Brad Miller::website and want to learn more about what
Dr. Brad Miller::they can find there and what do you offer?
Dr. Jerry Fu::Sure, sure. So the the main benefits, right?
Dr. Jerry Fu::So I'll take a client situation. One point, a
Dr. Jerry Fu::client of mine, there was a girl at church
Dr. Jerry Fu::that he thought was attractive, you want to
Dr. Jerry Fu::ask her out? And so you know, he goes up to
Dr. Jerry Fu::her, ask for a number she gives it to him, and
Dr. Jerry Fu::then she doesn't, isn't that responsive to his
Dr. Jerry Fu::calls. And then after he does a little more
Dr. Jerry Fu::research on social media, he realizes that
Dr. Jerry Fu::she already has a boyfriend. And so it's like,
Dr. Jerry Fu::well, what's really going on here? Right?
Dr. Jerry Fu::But she's just being nice. She just didn't
Dr. Jerry Fu::want to turn it down, even though she's
Dr. Jerry Fu::already spoken for, like what's going on?
Dr. Jerry Fu::And so he's telling me all this, you know, like,
Dr. Jerry Fu::what do I do, right? I can't, I can't just sit on
Dr. Jerry Fu::this resentment. Right. So we talked about,
Dr. Jerry Fu::Hey, okay, let's script out. How do you want
Dr. Jerry Fu::this conversation to go? Right. So I asked him
Dr. Jerry Fu::this, you know, how do you want this to go?
Dr. Jerry Fu::Well, you know, I'd like an apology from her.
Dr. Jerry Fu::Like, if it's appropriate. It's like, okay, you
Dr. Jerry Fu::know, what are some openers you could
Dr. Jerry Fu::use to address the situation without
Dr. Jerry Fu::antagonizing her? Right? Let's talk about
Dr. Jerry Fu::some some phrases that you can play
Dr. Jerry Fu::around with improv off of. And so, you
Dr. Jerry Fu::know, let's and then to ask him, you know,
Dr. Jerry Fu::how do you want to set this into motion?
Dr. Jerry Fu::Can you find 10 seconds of courage to
Dr. Jerry Fu::just go up and ask her, hey, you know, can
Dr. Jerry Fu::I borrow you for a couple minutes? I need to
Dr. Jerry Fu::sort out a situation with you. You know, would
Dr. Jerry Fu::that be? Is that okay? Is now a good time? Right?
Dr. Jerry Fu::And, you know, so the call I get from him later,
Dr. Jerry Fu::saying, hey, you know, yeah, you know, I was able
Dr. Jerry Fu::to address the situation with her. She apologized
Dr. Jerry Fu::for, you know, leading me on because she just
Dr. Jerry Fu::realized that she just didn't want admit that she
Dr. Jerry Fu::was too afraid to say no, even though she
Dr. Jerry Fu::already had a boyfriend, or she was interested
Dr. Jerry Fu::in somebody else. You know, for him to say
Dr. Jerry Fu::I you know, to hear him tell me just how
Dr. Jerry Fu::grateful he was for my help. I'm so glad I did this.
Dr. Brad Miller::Right, because you help coach to be
Dr. Brad Miller::assertive to help rather than just stewing
Dr. Brad Miller::about it. Yeah,
Dr. Jerry Fu::yeah. Give them clear steps. Give them the
Dr. Jerry Fu::confidence to do it. And then let them
Dr. Jerry Fu::experience the closure. And once they get
Dr. Jerry Fu::that first when they want more of it,
Dr. Brad Miller::and do you have application to do it actually
Dr. Brad Miller::take the action? That's awesome. That's a great,
Dr. Brad Miller::a great story there. Well, no people go to your
Dr. Brad Miller::website, tell me what people are going to
Dr. Brad Miller::find there. I know you have a, a resource there
Dr. Brad Miller::that you'd like people to be aware of. Tell us about that.
Dr. Jerry Fu::Oh, yeah. I want to give this away to
Dr. Jerry Fu::as many people as I can. Because I believe
Dr. Jerry Fu::in is valuable. Even it's helpful. Yeah, you
Dr. Jerry Fu::can download a free guide on a Framework
Dr. Jerry Fu::to Handle Difficult Conversations, whether
Dr. Jerry Fu::it's personal or professional. This will give you
Dr. Jerry Fu::five steps to increase your chances of success.
Dr. Jerry Fu::Because oftentimes, right what looks like
Dr. Jerry Fu::complacency is actually confusion, right?
Dr. Jerry Fu::A lot of people know that they need to
Dr. Jerry Fu::have a hard conversation. But if no one
Dr. Jerry Fu::gives them a plan, right? Or gives them
Dr. Jerry Fu::like some kind of lighted stairway to success, right?
Dr. Jerry Fu::You know, they could find their way there.
Dr. Jerry Fu::But it'll take a lot more time and energy.
Dr. Jerry Fu::Sure, you probably need to, but other things
Dr. Jerry Fu::on the website that are free, set up a
Dr. Jerry Fu::complimentary 30 minute call. Yeah, tell me
Dr. Jerry Fu::your situation, right gets in, share your story,
Dr. Jerry Fu::share whatever you'd like. In that 30 minutes,
Dr. Jerry Fu::I just want to add value, and, and help you
Dr. Jerry Fu::through whatever you're dealing with. Or just
Dr. Jerry Fu::check out the blog where I summarize useful
Dr. Jerry Fu::and interesting leadership books and offer
Dr. Jerry Fu::other life hacks. And that's all available for free
Dr. Brad Miller::At your website, which is adaptingleaders.com.
Dr. Brad Miller::So you can either go there directly, or you can
Dr. Brad Miller::go to DrBradmiller.com. And we will have links
Dr. Brad Miller::to website there. And you heard there was helpful
Dr. Brad Miller::things about conflict resolution. So step by step
Dr. Brad Miller::approach some things to be helpful to you.
Dr. Brad Miller::And particularly if you have some of these
Dr. Brad Miller::things that have happened in your life in the
Dr. Brad Miller::workplace, or from Asian American culture,
Dr. Brad Miller::which is one aspect here, and we didn't get
Dr. Brad Miller::into some of the other stuff, you're into
Dr. Brad Miller::ballroom dancing and salsa dancing
Dr. Brad Miller::and things like that. And so maybe there are
Dr. Brad Miller::some life lessons in that and how to have fun,
Dr. Brad Miller::but you, you've got a fascinating story to tell
Dr. Brad Miller::very helpful because people, everybody has
Dr. Brad Miller::conflicts, everybody has conflicts, that so
Dr. Brad Miller::many people submerge them and don't do
Dr. Brad Miller::anything about that. And then it comes out.
Dr. Brad Miller::Oftentimes the manifestation of conflict comes
Dr. Brad Miller::out in other ways it could be health related or
Dr. Brad Miller::some devastating result. We don't want that.
Dr. Brad Miller::So helpful things to us here. His name is Dr. Jerry Fu:.
Dr. Brad Miller::He's a pharmacist by profession, but his calling
Dr. Brad Miller::and his energy has to do with helping folks like
Dr. Brad Miller::you to resolve conflict in your life, and to have
Dr. Brad Miller::a more fulfilling life in in many aspects.
Dr. Brad Miller::So thank you, Dr. Jerry Fu, for being our guest
Dr. Brad Miller::today on the Beyond Adversity podcast with Dr. Brad Miller.