PTP:071. Frankie Fihn “Discovering, Defining and Refining Your Life Purpose”

Brad Miller 0:00
We have Frankie Finn with us who’s an author and a teacher and a creator and a retreat leader. And he is, has the website sacred plant retreats.com. And he is all about helping people in their life journey to understand discover what they were really put here on earth for and to discover their unique gifts and experiences, and to focus focus in their life and to have some inspiration. And these type of person he has a great story to tell about some of the things he is overcome in his life and some of the resources he’s used to overcome adversity achieve some success in his life. And we welcome the pathway to pathway to promise Frankie Finn.

Frankie Fihn 0:46
Well, thank you so much, Dr. Miller. That was an amazing introduction, by the way, and it’s it’s an honor for all the beautiful things you stand for, to be a part of this wonderful show. Thank you, Frank. Appreciate it. And what is from here on I’ll be up Frankie, and I’ll be Brad you

Brad Miller 1:00
we’ll just have a good conversation as as, as Frank said, Brother, Herman, they tell me a little bit your story I just mentioned a little bit of some kind of kind of took to the heart of the 10,000 foot view of your story here. But tell me a little bit about your story about where you’ve come from, what kinds of things you’ve had to do with your life and what you’re doing now.

Unknown Speaker 1:20
Yeah, you know, it’s really, really interesting, because

Frankie Fihn 1:23
I had, like an extremely dysfunctional childhood, by most people’s standards. And I grew up where both of my parents were alcoholics. And my dad probably dabbled in every kind of drug you can imagine. And, and so I always had this continuing, like, crowd of unusual, weird, sometimes downright crazy characters in my life. And, you know, I can remember just like an experience when I was really young, where my dad had a girlfriend who was fighting a court case, for the custody of her son and the, the, the girlfriend had been a heroin addict for many, many years. And the guy she dated was also a heroin addict. And so they, they managed to make a baby and not even realize they did it. So seven months pregnant, and somehow miraculously, this baby who was born in the middle of heroin addiction, came out perfectly normal. And it’s it’s such a blessing, but she remember actually telling me and most people

Brad Miller 2:26
who, That’s bizarre in and of itself, isn’t it? My goodness, it’s, it sure

Frankie Fihn 2:29
is, it sure is. And I can remember, you know, she told me once that she spent $100,000 on heroin, and like, seven months, or something like that, until she just ran out of money. And yeah, and you know, it’s really sad seeing those addictions. And I remember, one point, they were fighting this custody battle, and, and because when you’re dealing with two people who are like that level of extreme dysfunction, you know, both heroin addicts, it’s kind of like, if you just show up, and don’t do anything stupid, but Child Protective Services is going to side with you because they want the kid to be with the parents. And I can remember, there was a five o’clock exchange, and they had some friend over who had been drinking all day. And he asked, could I take the car to go up to the bar, so you went and drunk, drove to the bar,

Brad Miller 3:17
and

Frankie Fihn 3:19
ended up getting so drunk at the bar that he passed out in the driver’s seat in the parking lot didn’t go anywhere. And so they had somewhere to be at five o’clock, and at six o’clock, they weren’t there. And it’s seven. And eventually, they drove, it was about an hour drive an hour away, everybody in the car, you know, like very drunk and made this exchange. And of course, it was like, you know, kind of like Olympic fencing by that point, because everybody was fighting. And these kind of things were like, really normal in my childhood. I mean, for most people, that would probably be really extreme. And I remember when the, the friend finally came home, my dad had a fistfight with him and beat him up on the lawn. And then he just like, pass out on the lawn. And so for me, like to, to look back at life, and to look at all the ways have been able to, to be blessed and everything, like when I look back at just all the, the obstacles I was working against, in many ways, like if not for a higher power, I legitimately don’t think it could be done.

Brad Miller 4:16
Well do what drama and trauma there and in your childhood growing up. And yet you somehow have managed to have some success in your life in the corporate world and some things like that, what, what got you there and I will get to your what you’re doing now in a minute, but you somehow matriculated out into the corporate world. How did that happen?

Frankie Fihn 4:37
Yeah, yes. So you know, I think it was it was really interesting. I was in a situation where I’m from, I’m from Windsor, Ontario, Canada, and it’s about five minutes from Detroit, Michigan. So I always say that I grew up close enough to Detroit to hear the gunshots without being hit. And Detroit’s, like, legitimately a pretty rough city. Yes, I know. And, and where I’m from, like, there’s this kind of like, unreal written script in the stars that says, you’re going to go up and work for one of the car companies for General Motors and Chrysler, that’s just like all the industry there. And so a huge significant portion of all the, the the jobs in that area, either work for a car company, or work for a company that supplies them. And so there’s this kind of like, path that was really laid out for me. And I was fortunate where I went to school got a really good job as a, or got a really good degree as an engineer, and was able to move up really, really quickly. And then, you know, I was kind of building this life that it wasn’t really what I wanted. But what end up happening is 2008 came around the economy, all of a sudden, these car companies that were these havens of business, were laying off 10s of thousands of people. And it really forced my hand to go in life in a different direction. And so, for the last 12 years, how I’ve been able to live and obviously, it’s, you know, it’s been its own journey and growth, but I kind of live the, what a lot of, like, people dream about what they call the laptop lifestyle, where you can, you know, go around the world, because we actually, for the last two years, I think I’ve been around the planet twice. We’ve been in like, 30 countries. And

you know, we just seen many things and because, you

know, like, you know, the way we kind of like run our business works laptop, we’re able to kind of work our own hours and our own times. And it’s just been such a different blessing from the the craziness that I grew up in.

Brad Miller 6:29
That’s awesome. That’s a dream for a lot of folks and achieving that. But I’m sure that getting from fistfights on the front lawn with heroin addicts to this laptop lifestyle was not just a straight line of, you know, butterflies and wonderfulness. tell a little bit about some of the actions that you took, what are some of the things that you did to break some patterns there, Frankie to get you where you’re at now, what are some of the bold things that you did?

Frankie Fihn 6:58
Yeah, I mean, I wish there’s been a lot of little things, as you know, Brad, it’s like when you when you make something of yourself. A lot of people are looking for that one thing, but it’s usually like 10,000 little decisions. But I think there’s a lot of really amazing habits that you can develop that if you’re listening to this, that. And you had mentioned before the show, there was the five D’s I’m trying to remember one was depression. One was divorce, one was death,

Brad Miller 7:25
and also was disease and debt money. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, basically, I believe most people have one form or another, they have to deal with those things in some form of some form of adverse something in their life that impacts that is due at least one or more of those things.

Frankie Fihn 7:42
Yeah, yeah. And I would say, you know, I’m no exception to that rule, I’ve had to deal with all five of them as well, I would say probably in the health might have been the most fortunate Not that I’ve never had a disease. But you know, I spent most of my life being healthy. But I can actually remember being really, really depressed for a lot of years. And I think people, a lot of people feel that way, where it was very interesting to me to have kind of like the success that my parents always dreamed for me at a very young age. And to realize what I wanted to do, because you know, when I was working in this factory actually became like a middle manager at the Ford Motor Company. And when I would go into work, and I would go to this thousand square foot plant, where I’d be surrounded by people that were mostly negative, like it was just that that particular plant was really negative, hostile, argumentative kind of place. Now, a lot of just kind of bad attitudes, I breathe in toxic chemicals all day long. It smelled I was 20 years old, I ever saw a pretty girl in any factory places. They were, they were a long ways from there. And it was it was miserable. But I would go home. And my parents are, you know, were they were just so proud of me, like my mom would be like, wow, you did it, you got health benefits, you’re making like more money than I ever did, aren’t you so proud of yourself. And I think a lot lot of people experience something similar, where you end up being successful, but successful in in what other people want to do. And then you find that there’s a certain emptiness to it, where you’re like, kind of miserable. And so I experienced this, like, really, really bad depression. And I and I remember, like, some days, you know, just thinking that, you know, I was going to die, and I was just going to be this miserable factory worker. And it just intensified. And I think one of the biggest things that I learned out of it, even though is a very, very difficult time is most people don’t realize it, but you’re either kind of like to use a sports metaphor with your life, you’re either playing offense or you’re playing defense. And in my particular, you know, miserable kind of factory job I was, I was playing defense, I let the company Tell me what I had to do every day, I’d let somebody else do all the thinking. For me, I didn’t really ask a lot of questions about who I was, or what I really wanted to do, or what kind of do friends I made in the world. And I think the number one thing you can do, to get out of any sort of depression is to have that deep kind of self honesty and reflection. And then use that as a catalyst in order to like, be really real with yourself about what you really want. And the beautiful thing is I find when you when you’re really honest about what you really want, it also will benefit a lot of other people to like, it’s not just your own selfish dream, it’s actually something that really contributes and betters the world. And I find when people are doing things they really love doing, and they’re helping better people’s lives. And, you know, they’re doing the things that they’re naturally good at. It just it seems to have an effect of, of, of whatever depression is the the opposite of that, where you feel blessed and inspired and purposeful, in amazing comes when to me when those three things align with just to say kind of once more, doing what you love, doing what you’re naturally good at, and doing what people really need and contribute getting something to other people’s lives. And I find when you do that, it’s a very different experience.

Brad Miller 11:04
That’s, that’s awesome. And I love the metaphor, you’re using their Frankie of the Office of defense to sound like you, you were back on your heels playing defense, you’re in a in the corporate world and the Ford plant just kind of getting by kind of dead inside. And then when you took offense, you took some charge of your life. That was part of the process of breaking out of your depression and breaking getting forward. Yeah, that’s great. So that’s kind of what you did sort of part of what you did that internal, intrinsic part of what went on with you that I just can’t keep going this way. And yet, I got the feeling that with you. And a lot of folks that can only last so long that kind of that, that internal unhappiness and internal, I gotta change this internal. willpower can only last so long. And we have to get some strength or some energy from some other resources. And I find oftentimes at some sort of a higher power since we’re for spiritual journey, and this would tell me about that a little bit. Is this any part of your experience, Frankie, some sort of drawing and some sort of higher power spiritual journey, which has helped to embolden you and your transformation?

Frankie Fihn 12:20
I mean, I would say 100% of it. And I experienced this. For me, what started happening in my life was, when I started to come out of it, there was people call synchronicity, and it was, it was really weird for me, I can remember, I would walk by a clock, and there was like, at the time, and there was a 99% chance it would be like 1111, or 111, or 1234, when I would walk by, and this would even happen when, you know, like, the DVD player resets because the power goes out. And it’s set to the wrong time for three weeks, but I would still walk by the wrong time at 1111. And I remember for for months, thanks.

Unknown Speaker 13:00
Okay, this,

Frankie Fihn 13:01
somehow my like, subconscious knows the time. And it’s just like, I’m just doing this to myself, I can’t be like, all these signs are coming. And then I remember when I first started thinking that I would get like emails from people at 1111. And I would see these kind of symbols over and over, or I remember one time, and this happened to me numerous times, but I, I would turn on, like the local hockey games, or I’m Canadian, you know, I’m gonna watch some high

Brad Miller 13:25
scores i get i get sad. Sure.

Frankie Fihn 13:29
And, but I would turn it on, and the game would be tied, one one in the first and they would be on a timeout, and there would be 1111 to go in the first period. And it just started.

Brad Miller 13:40
That’s all. That’s awesome. That’s how this kind of thing happens sometimes going. Yeah, I know. Sorry to interrupt you. But it’s just interesting how that I’ve had that kind of thing in my life to where you just kind of have what we know, what is it? What is this supposed to me? What is this situation for me especially keeps happening again? And again? Yeah,

Frankie Fihn 13:55
yeah. And I think there’s, I don’t know how it was for you. But there was certainly a resistance in me, we’re like, this isn’t really happening. Like, I’m just doing this or, you know, like, I tried to come up with a rational reason for it that kind of explained away. And what ended up happening was like, it was just like, you know, this higher power was just beating me over the head with so many signs that I reached a critical mass where I’m like, okay, I can’t deny it. And I kind of, for me, my own journey was a little Alice in Wonderland and following those signs. And what you find is, you know, there’s a real challenge in the beginning, I think in like trusting this higher power that that is, you know, it’s not leading you astray, because you don’t always for sure, know where it’s actually leading. And, but I think the decision to do that is actually, even though it’s very, very scary, at first, it’s actually the best decision you’ll ever make in your life. Because, you know, it’s a higher power for a reason, it knows, knows a lot more about what’s going on. And I just

Brad Miller 14:52
believe that that’s a resource that’s beyond our, our own self, that is a resource of power, that can empower us. And if we lose our own self sufficiency, you know, we only have so much energy of our own accord. And we can draw on the power of whether it’s your prayer life, or meditation, or reading or reading, or being connected in scriptures or some other sacred writing, to fill yourself with good stuff is such an important thing to do, because we just can’t do it on our own. And you have to have that power in your life. And that’s awesome. That’s awesome. Tell me about I want to hear some more now, Frankie about relationships.

Unknown Speaker 15:36
About,

Brad Miller 15:38
you mentioned about some kind of toxic relationships that you had, growing up with your dad and some pretty unhealthy things. And so you experienced some part of relationships that drain energy, or certainly give us some bad baggage to carry with us. But I’m a believer that we need positive relationships and some loving relationship. So help us go forward and kind of fuel our journey to have what I like to call the promise life or life of peace, prosperity, and, and purpose. Tell me about any positive relationships. So or something that’s helped you move through this process of life transformation? Tell me about that little bit.

Frankie Fihn 16:20
Yeah, and I can actually give you examples of both and I think is really valuable lessons for anybody listening to, to really think about this in your own life. So I mean, I feel like for real, like growing up for me, I got a PhD in what dysfunctional relationships were just, you know, a lot, not just myself, but I mean, like, you know, I kind of grew up in a very getaway government subsidized area. And because of it, pretty much everybody I know, had dysfunctional relationships. Like I can remember, there was a neighbor, kid, his name was Andre. And he had a dad who was a trucker from Michigan, and his dad would come to visit him on weekends, sometimes, and he would always tell him, I’m good come and this, you know, come visit you Saturday afternoon. And there was probably eight out of 10 times, he said that he just never came at all and called and never gave an explanation. And I would, I couldn’t, I can still have this image of just Andre standing curbside waiting Saturday afternoon for four or 5678 hours until he realized, you know, dad’s never coming. And I myself had that same experience. But I never actually felt that bad about it, because mine wasn’t as bad as his, you know, it’s like kind of put in perspective. And it was just really sad seeing all these people. But one of the beautiful things that really came out of it, it made me today really appreciate how important it is to have loving supportive families and what kind of difference that makes for somebody in their lives growing up to just have like unconditional love in the home. And so it was about two years ago, I met the woman of my dreams. And beyond that, I think one of the things that I’ve done very intentionally that this is I think something anybody listening to this could benefit from just tremendously, is to take building loving relationships intentionally. And I first met some friends and I had no idea the level that this could be done. But a couple of my very like high end entrepreneur, friends, they have everybody who really has made an impact on them that they want to intentionally build a relationship with, in a spreadsheet, all written down, they can tell you the last time they talked to them, what they talked to them about, and when they plan to talk to them next, and what they plan to talk to them about next. And when I realized

Unknown Speaker 18:35
this, this like really just

Frankie Fihn 18:36
blew my mind. And it was very interesting to me, because one of the things that happens at a building a laptop lifestyle, and I think this is probably true of anybody who’s really trying to make a dream come true, is there’s really some lonely moments along the way, like really lonely moments where you’re like, I’m the only one doing this. And it was, you know, it’s really funny, because you work on a laptop all the time, like people would tell me, you’re so lucky, you’re connected to all these people all the time. And I would say Well, to me, it feels like most of the day, I’m sitting alone by myself on a laptop. So I don’t, I don’t feel very connected at all right, quite the opposite. And one of the things that happened is my girlfriend and I actually met in a business coaching group. So we both signed up for this mentorship from a guy who built the kind of businesses that we want to build. And we met in his private group. And I’ve met so many amazing individuals in this group that I realized that there’s certain communities and they’re actually pretty easy to find on the internet. Like one of the ways that I do this is in Facebook groups. So I have a Facebook groups. Part of for my health, I have Facebook groups that I’m part of, for business things I have Facebook groups that I’m part of that are just purely based on like spiritual and contribution and good ideas and feeling good and all that kind of beautiful stuff. And as I do this, what I find is there was a time where I used to really hate going on Facebook, because you know, just all these negative posts, and in a matter of six months, I turn that into literally 100% beautiful positive inspiration on my Facebook newsfeed all day long every day. And, and not only that, but I have endless communities to connect with people who share like a like mind. And maybe you don’t necessarily have to do this online, if you’re in this there. I’m sure there’s communities within you know, your own physical space. But I think there’s some real magic to intentionally figuring out what kind of people lift you up, fill you up. And you know, it’s like, for example, I have a friend I just talked to yesterday, he’s, he’s working on becoming a billionaire, he’s already made $800 million. And his goal is to give it all away to charities before he dies. That’s awesome. And so if you look at it on the outside with people who don’t know him, they’re like, well, what, you know, he’s greedy, selfish, why? Why do you need a billion dollars, and you don’t really know what he’s doing and how selfless It really is. And, you know, when I meet people like that, how can I not be inspired every day to connect, connect like that. And I think when you when you have really cool people around you that are doing cool things and less of the crazy, you know,

Brad Miller 21:10
I don’t know, I just love being intentional about those healthy life giving relationships. And I think it’s interesting that your shared about how you have really made that work in Facebook groups by being very intentional about it. Because you know, there’s a lot of, as you mentioned, you know, a lot of just toxic kind of stuff on you know, online as well. And I think we have to be good discernment of how to do that, or maybe take some control of how to make that work. And also sounds to me, if I’m hearing you right here, Frankie, it’s not just been, you know, like, online, or a Facebook post in a group or something, you saw that you picked up the phone and talk to people. And maybe you’ve had some personal encounters with some folks as well. Is that fair to say that you’ve got a little more personal? Yeah. As well,

Frankie Fihn 21:56
of course, and I have like one of the things that we do that’s very intentional, like, just to give you an example is like that’s very in person. And anybody can do this, and I would highly recommend it is, you know, my girlfriend and I we sit around we say what are the conferences in the country right now that have the most amazing people? And when are they and how can we go?

Brad Miller 22:15
So when you go to these conferences, it’s not just for wherever the content is, it’s for the networking, but also the, the, the encouragement, the relationship building?

Unknown Speaker 22:27
Yeah, absolutely. And I find

Frankie Fihn 22:30
you know, I don’t think anybody who does something really successfully is is quote, unquote, a self made man, I think it behind every self made man is a lot of help. And so I don’t think you can ever have too much help and support and that that journey,

Brad Miller 22:44
one of the things you’ve said in this process here, Frank is this, the fuel of these loving relationships have come because you’ve been very intentional about nurturing them, and you’ve had a bigger vision, about how you want to have some accomplishment in your life and have a sense of inner peace and, and so on, so forth. And that doesn’t happen without that intentional action piece that you’ve been, we’ve been kind of skirting around here. And if you will, like you to talk a little bit about some of these intentions that you do, or some of the self disciplines, or some of the habits that you have that help you to, you know, break through, you know, those parents, those patterns you mentioned at the beginning, but growing up and so on, those are powerful, powerful things. And to break out of that kind of thing means that you’ve got to be, you know, have not only have the loving relationships, a drone, a higher power, but you got to have some systems down. And I sounds like did you do so tell a little bit about systems or habits or disciplines that you have in your life that help you to succeed?

Frankie Fihn 23:40
Yeah, I can tell you, Brad. So I’m kind of like, I’ll give you some ones that have worked really well for me, and then I’ll give you some ones that anybody can do, because I’m kind of an extreme kind of growth person. So like, I’m always, I wouldn’t recommend most people try what I’m doing all at once is what is what I’m saying. One of the things that I do every single day as a habit is to, to really just take a moment to meditate and slow down and reconnect with what my purpose is. What I’m intending to do, and I think it’s really, really similar to what you’re doing is I, you know, in my own way, I’m working to make people feel more love and have a better feeling and enjoy their life more and have it be more fulfilled in so many different ways. And I think just taking 10 minutes, to really think about why you’re here, you know, because I read the story once about JK Rowling, the Harry Potter author, and she, I guess she was on a train. So the story goes, and she got inspired to write seven Harry Potter books. And she took dictation, like from this like kind of voice in her head and wrote them out in like seven minutes and then went home and got to work on writing them. And I think sometimes that happens, where, you know, every now and then somebody has the immediate aha download. But I think for most of us, it’s done intentionally, just like any other practice in the same way you learn how to drive a car, you just the first time you have to think about it a lot, but then you just keep doing it, keep doing it, keep doing it, eventually, you can drive 20 minutes to work without even having thought about it once about how you got there. Right. And so I think that’s one of the things that has really worked for me well is is doing that. I also when I met my billionaire friends, but before

Brad Miller 25:20
you go too far, before you go to the next thing here, Frank, I was curious, do you actually have a state but you have your own Oh, purpose statement or a thing that you say or do or you know, something like that you mentioned you to try to connect with purpose. Some folks who actually have a phrase that they use, I just want to go along now.

Frankie Fihn 25:39
Yeah, and actually, it was really interesting. Because one of my businesses over the last couple years, I got to work with the top lawyers in America. And I realized when I would meet a really good law firm, they could articulate what they were doing and why they were doing it. And the small firms, often they had an idea, but it was only in the owners head. And one of the really smart lawyers I met said, until you write out with your mission purposes, nobody else can help you with it, because you can’t tell them what it is. So when you feel inspired, write it down and then repeat it over and over and over and practice with it. So I’ll read your mind right now. Awesome. I believe we’re here. I believe we’re here on this planet to raise consciousness to see people go Ha, ha ha rather feel that divine spark come back on to walk this earth with new inspired ideas, feelings and use. We share this gift of loving consciousness to give freely to souls in need. without our help people settle for less than lives of fear, trauma, anxiety and negativity, it ripples into the experience of everyone they touch. We remember when we felt that same suffering, and we really feel empathy. We give people real lasting, profound change, a quantum leap forward, a purposeful existence with freedom, harmony, health, contribution and wholeness. We have fun and laugh, life is to be enjoyed. People think us and find unusual and amazing ways. And our work is for the betterment of all, we deserve the best life possible. abundance is our birthright. And we support our families like bosses, and we believe everybody in the world deserves to live the best life possible. It’s time to inspire a million human beings. Who is the next one now.

Brad Miller 27:14
That’s awesome. Because I do something similar. It’s not quite a lengthy that I just boil it down to the several a statements to try to abide with abide with God to affirm other people to live abundantly, and to be alert in my life and to take action. So I just kind of have my five I call my five five A’s. So I kind of do that kind of thing. Yeah, awesome, man. I didn’t mean to interrupt you too much. But it is I like to hear those type of things from people when they have that kind of a statement or that kind of a phraseology. But you had a couple other things in mind there that you said that you do, and some does self discipline.

Frankie Fihn 27:48
Yeah, so one of those is also writing goals. I when I met my billionaire friend, he’s I asked him like, Hey, what’s the number one thing that’s working for you to do this, and he says, I decide what i want i right down. And then every day, I write it out five times. And I do it every single day like clockwork. We also my girlfriend and I we just built a vision board last night, we this is something we update every couple of months where we sit and figure out all the different ways we want to do things have experiences help people and so forth. I also read a lot I think you can ever read too much. It’s interesting to me. And this is not a judgment against anybody walking their path. But I know that when I made really like high performing people, they read a lot of books. And when I meet kind of low performing people, they usually watch a lot of TV. And so I find if you want to, if you want to become one of the the great thinkers and something that’s worked really well for me, because when I meet somebody who is inspiring to me in some way in life, I always ask them, like, what are the books that most influenced you? And it allows me to know what the best books are without having to like, do a bunch of research and spend time on Amazon. So I’ll meet somebody who’s you know, I admire in one area of their life, and they’ll say, Oh, this book changed my life. That’s awesome. And then 10 bucks, 10 bucks later on Amazon. I also Yeah.

Brad Miller 29:12
Well, before you get too far, before you get too far away from that one, let me ask you what, what r me ask you about a couple books or a book or two, especially in recent months that you’ve read that have been influential on you.

Frankie Fihn 29:28
Wow, that is a you know, I never want to say there’s just one.

Brad Miller 29:36
But it had to be this one. But any book or just I didn’t mean to put you on the spot too much there. But since you met you mentioned it, I thought I would ask you.

Frankie Fihn 29:45
Yeah, and Okay, I think these are the ones that

one of the ones that I really recommend, is by Joseph Murphy. It’s a long book. But it’s very, very useful. And so it’s 100 year old. And I, I tend to like those,

those books that have kind of the timeless wisdom in them. You know, like when you think about the Bible, it’s like, it’s still relevant. You know, 2000 years later. And so one of those is called the miracle power of your subconscious mind by Joseph Murphy. And he really goes to show that if you really want like a certain kind of life, you know, it’s kind of teaching about like, repetitive prayer in a way where, rather than, like begging God to do something for you in your life is to practice giving thanks that he already has, and that what you’re asking for, you know, believe you have received, and you will.

I sure i’m sure i just butchered that passage. So

Unknown Speaker 30:43
that’s, you know,

Brad Miller 30:45
I know put in there a little bit, but I just think it’s, I think what you said is so valuable to, you know, consume good stuff, whether it’s reading, you know, conferences, you mentioned that going to conferences, and relationships, you know, iOS and a lot of podcasts, this type of thing, as well. Some good stuff out there, or audio tape series from some people in this type of thing. But, yeah, and I just think it’s good to keep filling yourself up with good stuff in order for you to So did you contribute to the greater good? Here’s yourself? Absolutely. So for so for me, you know, I’ve got kind of my historical books that I have, you know, the Bible included in that and I, the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren’s one night, that have brought about 20 years that I use, and just just last week, I read how rods book about the miracle equation, which was helpful to me, and, you know, some things like that, I want to, as well. But so, but go on, my friend, just you had at least one more thing I think he wanted to share about some discipline or habits that you had.

Frankie Fihn 31:46
Yeah, and it was like, I guess the reason why I recommended that book, because it made me realize the way a lot of people approach things is is not in my experience, how they actually work. And what I mean by that is, they’ll want a certain thing to happen in their life. And most people kind of pray in ways that lead to disappointment, I think, and the book, the book, kind of like talks about how to pray, and it, it breaks it down into like, the best way I can kind of summarize it is, you know, the way you learned how to ride or drive a car the first time, you had to really think about every little movement, and it didn’t come naturally. And like I said, then, you know, after a couple of months, you can drive to work without thinking about it. And he’s like, that’s how everything works. That’s how you learn anything, but for some reason people think a prayer is one time beg God for something, and then he’s either going to check yes, or check now. And it’s about creating the kind of prayer where you know, you’ve received it, and giving thanks for it over and over and repeating it until just like anything else, that you learn to receive it properly, and then it shows up for you.

Brad Miller 32:56
And I really think there’s some real wisdom in that, because that kind of rapid tissues prayer, I really feel like can fix almost any problem anybody has in any situation. That’s awesome. That’s awesome. You’ve taken all this information, this life experience that you’ve had Frankie and everything else like that. And now you’re doing some things to contribute to the greater good well being of others through some of the things you’ve written and resources you had, I know you lead some retreats in this type of thing. Tell me a little bit about what you do to contribute to others. What are some things that you’re working on?

Frankie Fihn 33:32
Well, I think the biggest thing is, you know, I realized when you go through like kind of like a really difficult life, at least you know, in the mid childhood is that you can look back, and you can see people who were exactly where you were seven years ago, 10 years ago, 15 years ago, and you know, not none of us have it all figured out. But I look like I see it like you can always do something for somebody who’s behind you. And it’s, it’s really interesting, because even when people think they really have it bad I heard this quote one time that summarizes it beautifully that says, If everybody in the world had to put their problem in one big pile, and then you had to take one back out, most people would be pretty content to take their own out. Yeah. And you know, like, sometimes when life is really, really hard, you forget, like I have a friend who’s a motivational speaker does TED Talks, also a client, actually, amazing woman, and she grew up in Bosnia, and there was a mortar shell that went off, and she had her legs blown off and watched a number of her friends die. And so she was, she was like six years old, flown to America, she has no legs, she has like, you know, two metal prosthetic things. And, you know, obviously went through a pretty traumatic experience, but like, she’s learned to kind of like transmute it in a in a really beautiful, amazing way. And I think, you know, that’s, that’s really available to any of us. And when you really tap into that, I don’t know. So how long kind of doing that for people, is, what I realized is, you know, through my corporate background, I became really good at building businesses that I hate. And it showed me the biggest reason I ended up hating my businesses was because they weren’t really about anything other than making money. And so you would make all this money, but somehow it would be really empty inside. And nobody, nobody really like talks about that in our society. But it’s a real thing that I think a lot of people do in business, you know, they, they want this better life. And when I realized this, I realized there was a lot of people in similar situations that are really smart people, they read a lot, they have gifts, and they want to help people, but they don’t always know how to do that. And so I hear things from people. Like, I haven’t figured out what my one true passion is, I don’t know what the one thing I’m supposed to do is, or I don’t know what the purpose of my life is, I can’t figure out I feel lost. And when I hear these kind of things, I realized they’re really fixable. And I kind of, through my own journey, realized that discovering your purpose can be done like JK Rowling does it where you have this sudden, aha, and the light comes on. But for most of the rest of us, it’s done by a very formulaic process of just asking yourself questions that show you what you want. So like one of the things, and it’s not the only thing, I think a lot of people get caught up in this, but one of the things you can do, for example, is to look at what you really love doing. And some people have a hard time answering that. So we usually break it down to something simpler. To give you an example and say, Well, what have I really enjoyed spending my time on the last, you know, X number of months. And when you look at the things like these things are actually fun for me to do. I enjoyed them, they filled me up, it starts to show you ways in which you can contribute to other people. And you know, another one of those things, like I said, is helping people to see the things that they’re actually good at. A lot of people I think that are really smart, especially like, you know, obviously Brad, your note, you know, you’re a doctor is that one of the things that’s challenging about being an intellectual, is you think too much all the time. And so it’s sometimes you can like get caught in like a lot of self doubt, especially when you’re too smart for your own good.

I don’t think dumb people face this. I’m not sure. But

Brad Miller 37:20
it’s a very interesting, and I think, cogent insight there, my friend. Yeah.

Frankie Fihn 37:26
And, but you know, like the really smart intellectual people, they, they look at something they’re good at. And then they see immediately somebody who’s better. So like, you know, I have a friend who’s like I mentioned a motivational speaker. And they say, Well, I’m not Tony Robbins. And will you know, you don’t have to be Tony Robbins to contribute something to somebody’s life. Right. And, and, and then the other piece I mentioned is, is and I think this is a big piece that most people miss is, most people would love to be able to work on what they really love doing and be paid a great salary for it and have a really cool life. But the one piece, they forget to look at what is what people actually need what is needed in the world right now. And it takes, there’s no like real secret. But there’s a process that I call just deep listening. And one of the things the Internet has made it really beautiful to do is there’s people all over the internet and conversations where if you want to, and you want to really see where people are at, you can walk into one of these anonymous conversations in a forum, or a group and just listen and see like people are stuck on where they are and what they really need and what the challenges that come up. And when you combine those things of doing what you love and what you’re good at it and and then also doing what the world needs, there’s this really magical thing that happens for you that suddenly each day becomes worth waking up to. And I see a lot of people, this is such a weird thing for me, because people tell me all the time how they dread Monday and really look forward to Friday. And for me, I haven’t had this experience for 10 years because you know, I’ve always kind of done what I want. And you know, if we want to take a road trip

on a Tuesday we we do. But the beautiful thing is,

is it me Monday morning is something to look forward to. And I think that’s the real test is when Monday morning strikes, are you thinking Oh God, not another week? Are you thinking Oh, God, thank you for this week? Yeah,

Brad Miller 39:16
I think you really touched on something very important. There is this this sense of meaning less ness, which is in our world, in so many places, and so many ways, and how what you’ve mentioned how you’ve been intentional about reaching out to people and finding these various forums online. And otherwise, we’re like minded people are doing the deep listening and making a greater contribution. And that’s some of the things that you’re doing. So you’re doing it through retreats, and other things like that through sacred plant retreats, calm and some of your writing and resourcing and and if when if people want to know more about what you’re about, and do some deep listening with you or to somehow make a connection with you, how can they? How can they learn more about what you’re about and what you’re doing these days, Frankie?

Frankie Fihn 39:59
Well, you kind of hit it on there. So we have a free training right now. And I kind of built this free training because I wanted to help anybody who is not sure what they want to do in their life, somebody who’s like smart, and is just simply not sure how your unique gifts and combinations fit into the world. And so the free training, which is again on you mentioned sacred plant retreats, calm walks you through the systematic process for finding your why because like I mentioned, there are ways to discover it intentionally. And I really feel like purpose is like anything else is created intentionally. It’s not something you just magically sit down and go discover and find it’s not going to be on the writing the wall, you have to like do some real deep thinking and self honesty about what’s important to you and the people around you and what life experiences you have a really valuable to others. But once you go through that, once you really clear about who you are, it becomes really, really easy. And to give you like an analogy of how powerful that clarity is, is. I hear people say like, I really just need to get away, and then you say where these I don’t know,

somewhere, maybe a beach

and you go well, that’s really hard to do. But that’s very, if somebody has the clarity to say, I really want to go to with it with is actually really happened. In my experience, my girlfriend said to me, I’ve always wanted to visit the Big Island, I would love to see the ocean wake up. And so I made a bunch of business things. And I remember I don’t know, it was a couple of months later. And we were sitting on the Big Island Hawaii started crying her eyes out because she woke up and the first thing she saw was was the ocean and we had been there like very very intentionally right and but but until she had said to me I want to wake up on the ocean in the Big Island of Hawaii and like stay there for like a month you know, it’s very, very hard to actually fulfill that and so when you have the clarity, the deep clarity to know what you would could actually be meaningful to you you can you can take real steps to do it and then what you’ll find is you can actually live it and then the real magic of it is not just figuring out what your purpose is but to actually wake up and experience it and see people thank you every day and make a difference in the world. So if that sounds like something that you dig, then you probably should check us out.

Brad Miller 42:12
Yeah, which sounds awesome and it’s a process it’s like a this process of helping you dig a little deeper and find your clarity and your purpose in your life and certainly that’s what we’re about here on the pathway to promise is we call it the promise life that is that visualization of what a greater purpose for yourself a sense of what we believe that God has a greater intention for all of us then we probably have for ourself and and you have given us some things to think about and to deal with and the process here Frankie and some tools to do it with. And I thank you today for for being a great guest here on the pathway to promise podcast

Transcribed by https://otter.ai